Homework Can Be Fun

I'm not generally a big fan of homework. If your boys are in school, you know that are only so many precious hours between the end of the school day and bedtime, time that must be divvied up between relaxing, eating, spending time with family, personal interests, family responsibilities and, uh, homework.

But every now and then, a homework project comes along that feeds my boys' interests -- one that enhances, rather than detracts, from their lives. Those are the homework projects I love. And luckily, we had not one but two of them here in the last 24 hours.

This is Boy #3. He's been studying lumberjacks in 4th grade, and today is the annual Lumberjack Breakfast. So this morning, I got to draw a beard on my 10-year-old.

Boy #2, meanwhile, has been working on an English project. The kids have been learning about similes and metaphors and other literacy devices, and had to dream up an imaginary product and use those literary devices in a commercial to "sell" the product. My son imagined a product, wrote a script and made this commercial:

This kind of homework, I love.

Have your boys done any creative projects lately? Tell me about them!

Flash Cards for Boys

You probably already know that most boys love toilet humor. And a parent of boys, you've already figured out that the traditional sit-down-and-learn approach doesn't work well for many boys. 

And if you're anything like me, you've probably used those facts to your advantage. Like many parents, I placed magnetic letters on my fridge, hoping to entice my kids to build words. Nothing. Until I carefully arranged the letters to make a sentence about poop. Soon, I had 5 boys -- my 4, plus a friend -- gathered around my fridge, competing to see who could create the grossest sentence. 

That's why I think these flash cards are a brilliant idea.

Susan Levy, the creator of ABC Flash Cards for Boys, emailed me recently to invite me to check out her product on Kickstarter, a crowdfunding site she's using to secure the financial backing she needs to launch her brainchild out into the world. I usually ignore emails like that. I didn't ignore this one, and I'm glad I didn't. As soon as I saw her cards, I had to learn more. 

BbB: Tell us a little about your ABC cards. How did you develop the idea? 

Susan Levy

Susan: A little over a year ago when I was working with my son on his ABC’s he was completely uninterested in the products that were available.All the flash cards available were boring and didn't hold his attention. He could have cared less that “A” was for Apple. I wanted to create something that would make recognizing, learning and remembering ABC's fun. This is when I started thinking about what held a boy's attention and made them laugh. The topic that stood out the most was anything and everything to do with potty humor. This discovery was what ignited the idea for Alpha Cards. I began joking with my husband and my now eight year old daughter about ABC’s..."for boys eyes only".  I started making a list in a notebook of funny potty words for each letter.

BbB: What kind of feedback have you gotten from boys? From parents and educators?

Susan: The greatest part of this experience so far has been the feedback from kids, parents and educators. Parents who have seen them are so excited for the prospect of having a  tool that will actually engage their child in the learning process. There have been numerous occasions when I have been able to share my cards with kids and each time their reactions confirms my expectations for the success of my product. Children get it immediately and just start cracking up. I also have had great support from teachers and principals; they are ready and willing to use what works to help kids to learn, recognize and remember their ABC’s.

BbB: Some people completely reject the idea that boys and girls learn differently, and consider any attempts to personalize education for “boys” or “girls” to be sexist? How would you respond to those people?

Susan: As a former classroom teacher (I taught first and second grade)I feel confident in saying that each and every child learns differently no matter if they are a boy or a girl.  The key is taking the time to find out what makes each child tick.  That is the reason a great classroom library is stocked with a wide variety of genres and subject matter.  Alpha Cards are meant to add another diverse teaching tool to the market.  Yes, it says ABC’s for boys, but that does not mean girls won’t  love them and learn from them too. My daughter enjoys them as much as I do! If something works in helping your child get prepared for a lifetime of reading I say, “use it!”

BbB: You’ve already exceeded your Kickstarter goal. What do you plan to do with the rest of the money?

Susan: The success of Kickstarter has been amazing.  The money raised is going to allow me to order a larger quantity of flashcards.  This will give me the opportunity to get them into more stores sooner!

Want to order a set of Flash Cards for Boys? Visit Susan's website, www.he-is-all-boy.com.

Life Lessons from Billy Joel & Michael Pollack

I'm a sucker for Billy Joel.

It might be all those mix tapes that my friend Bill made for me, way back in grade school. It might be the fact that Joel can deftly create a story, a mood and an atmosphere in a few words and phrases. And it might have something to do with the fact that I've always loved the piano.

But that's not why I want you --and your sons -- to watch this video. This video of Joel and Vanderbilt University student Michael Pollack caught my eye because of what it can teach you (and your boys) about success. 

Take a look. Then let's discuss. 

Pretty amazing, huh?

I think we can all agree that the opportunity to play for Mr. Billy Joel is a tremendous opportunity. But what struck me most about the video was the very active role Mr. Pollack played in his success.

Consider:

1. He asked. Can you imagine raising your hand and asking Billy Joel if you could accompany him on the piano? I can't. I mean, Billy Joel is, like, a musical genius and a piano virtuoso. Who am I to ask? Besides, we're not supposed to ask those kinds of questions. Those, anyway, would be the thoughts going through my head.

But not this kid. He had enough self-confidence and guts -- and was willing to risk a NO -- for the chance to play with Billy Joel.

Life Lesson: If you don't ask, you might miss out on a lot of amazing opportunities. Ask for what you want. You just might get it.

2. He put himself in the company of a master. Clearly, this kid has some talent. (And, I'd guess, years of training.) But the best way to get better is to spend time with those who are even better than you. Watch them. Learn from them.

Michael Pollack knew this secret. And now, he's benefiting from the fact that a) his name is linked with Billy Joel's all over the Internet and b) Billy Joel himself gave him a shout-out and predicted that he'll be successful.

Life Lesson: Spend time with those who truly excel at whatever you're interested in. Seek out and find mentors for your sons too. If one of your boys is truly passionate about fishing, seek out other, more advanced fishermen, and see if they'd be willing to spend some time with your son.

3. Be willing to help others. Billy Joel did not have to say yes. He's already an international superstar, and I'm sure he'd long ago negotiated his speaking fee with the University. He could have kept the stage to himself and cashed his check and been none the worse for the wear.

But he didn't. He took a couple of minutes to share his experience and expertise with someone else.

Life Lesson: Very few of us succeed independently. We all rely on the help and support of others. So reach out a hand to help others reach their goals, every chance you get.

Making Connections, Gangnam Style

A deep interest in anything can lead to anything.

That's the philosophy that drove my homeschooling efforts and style, and the philosophy that underlies much of my parenting. It's also the reason I'm writing about Gangnam Style again.

As probably know by now, Psy's song is poised for world domination. The Korean rapper has been on Ellen. And The Today Show. And just about everywhere else. What you may not know is that Gangnam is actually an affluent section of Seoul, and that the song, Gangnam Style, is a commentary of sorts about that region.

Today, the Kansas City Star published an intriguing article that digs a bit deeper into the song and the music video's imagery. Turns out, the catchy song is actually a pretty clever piece of social commentary.

That's how learning works in the real world. You start with one thing -- a popular song -- for instance, and end up learning about geography and history and music and media and globalization.

Want to dig deeper? Here are some ideas for a Gangnam Style unit study:

Social Studies: Locate North and South Korea on a map. Look up and discuss the differences in government and standard of living between North and South Korea. Study the Korean War. What were the two countries fighting about? How and why did the US become involved?

Phy Ed/Arts: Learn the Gangnam Style dance. Develop your own trademark dance move.

Language Arts: Write your own Gangnam Style song: Pick as aspect of social or popular culture, and write song lyrics about it. Write a paper comparing and contrasting Gangnam with an affluent US city. Identify and discuss other songs/poems/stories that include social commentary.

Math: Compare the cost of living in Gangnam to the cost of living where you live. Compare and contrast average salaries and the cost of living in different areas of the country, or different countries.

Business: Discuss: Why is Psy so popular in the US? How can he capitalize on the popularity of Gangnam Style? Also discuss the firing of the California lifeguards who made a parody video.

Care to add to my list? What has Gangnam Style taught you or your boys?

A Titanic Experience

You know about our camping trip. But did you know that it all started with the Titanic?

My 6-year-old son is a Titanic fanatic. He first got interested in the Titanic about a year ago, after we picked up a book about the famous wreck at a local garage sale. He poured over that book, passionately, so we went to the library and checked out more books. And videos. Today, my son has darn close to 10 books on the Titanic, and he can tell you almost anything about the ship and its discovery.

But of course, my son has never been on the Titanic. He doesn't even remember the visit our family made to a traveling Titanic exhibit at the Milwaukee Public Museum a few years ago. This year, though, marks 100 years since the Titanic's sinking, so I jumped online, hoping to find a similar exhibit within easy driving distance.

What I found instead was the Titanic Museum Attraction, a special Titanic-only museum featuring a reproduction of the Grand Staircase! I was immediately intrigued. I knew my son would love it and I -- well, I wanted to see the Grand Staircase for myself.

The only problem was that the Titanic Museum wasn't anywhere near our house. The two locations -- Branson, Missouri and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee -- are both a good distance from our home in southeastern Wisconsin. But I really wanted to take my son. So I started calculating mileage and locating interesting stops along the way, and came up with our Titanic-by-way-of-the-Indiana-Dunes-and-Mammoth-Cave vacation.

We first glimpsed the Titanic Museum as we were passing through Pigeon Forge on the way to our campground in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. We'd been driving for hours and hours when suddenly we saw the great ship itself materialize along the right side of the road. That sight alone -- a real, full-size version of the Titanic (albeit, only her front half) -- was enough to thrill my son.

We returned the next day for our official tour. Each of us was given a boarding pass which included the name and background info of an actual passenger aboard the Titanic. My 6-yr-old recognized "his" name -- Dick Williams -- almost immediately. (A few months earlier, we'd read an article about Williams, a tennis star who survived the sinking.) The rest of us speculated about our fates, which would be revealed at the end of our tour. (Spoiler alert: Most of us survived.)

We wandered through the exhibits, which included diagrams and models of the Titanic, maps of her voyage and actual and recreated artifacts from the famous ship. We listened to a Captain Smith look-alike tell us about her voyage. And we loved the actual-size reproductions that made us feel as if we'd snuck onto the ship. We saw a full-size third-class stateroom, complete with two sets of bunk beds. We pressed a button and saw water flood a staircase; we were safely behind a pane of thick glass, but the experience nonetheless gave us an idea of how terrifying it must have felt to stand in the path of such water.

The boys enjoyed shoveling coal into the furnace. The pre-weighted shovel gave them some idea of the physicality of this task, and the signs nearby put the back-breaking labor into perspective: stokers shoveled coal in 10 hour shifts, around the clock, to keep the Titanic fueled.

The Grand Staircase was as beautiful as it looks in pictures -- but did you know that the surface of the stairs was not marble, but linoleum? (Back then, linoleum was the new, amazing thing.)

The best part, though, was the opportunity to experience 28 degree water firsthand. We knew, from our studies, that the water around the Titanic on the night of her sinking was just 28 degrees Farenheit, and that few people survived for more than a few minutes in such chilly water. But the Titanic Museum gave us the opportunity to dunk our hands into water chilled to 28 degrees. Until you've submerged your hand in 28 degree water, you can't really understand what the books say when they describe such cold as "like a thousand knives, stabbing you." I found it difficult to keep my hand in the water for even 15 seconds.

The kids (and I) also loved climbing on Titanic ship decks tilted to different angles to represent the angles of the decks at various points in her sinking. It's one thing to watch a movie of people sliding down the deck as the ship sank, and another to personally experience how hard it is to stand on ship that's going down.

The museum was a treasure trove of primary sources too, including photos and scrapbook pages taken by a priest onboard, postcards from passengers and authentic 1912 newspapers reporting the Titanic's demise. I was particularly moved by two telelgrams. One, sent from a boilerman (who was off-duty at the time of the sinking) to his family said simply, "Safe." (So much, in that one word!) Another, sent by the White Star Line to the wife of a passenger, said, "Regret your husband not saved." I'm willing to bet that tears were shed over that piece of paper.

My sons, of course, were not as enchanted with the primary documents as I was. I know they will never forget what 28 degree water feels like, though, and I know they now have a fuller understanding of the tragedy of the Titanic.

Disclosure: After seeing a previous blog post mentioning our planned trip to the Titanic Museum, museum personnel reached out and asked if I'd be interested in writing a blog post about our visit in exchange for free family admission. The boys and I received free admission and audio tours during our visit.

Ways to Help Boys Learn

Did the Josh Powell case throw anyone else for a psychological loop? Powell, as you probably know, is the man who torched his house when his two sons arrived for what was to be a supervised visit. I'll be writing more about the case, and why it struck me, next month. In the meantime, I'd like to point you to a couple other posts I have floating around the Web:

Finding Friends (for you and the kids!)

Teaching Writing in Your Homeschool

The Case for Play

10 Essential Supplies for Homeschooling Boys

Get Ready for Veteran's Day

I know it's not even Halloween, but Veteran's Day (November 11) is fast approaching. Want to mark the day in a meaninful manner? Check out my blog post, Honoring Our Vets, at The Homeschool Classroom.

Characteristics of Homeschooling Families

Have I mentioned the fact that I'm blogging for The Homeschool Classroom this year?

My first post, 7 Characteristics of Homeschooling Families, went live yesterday. Check it out and let me know what you think.

The Best School For Your Boy

If school choice is fluid -- and no one educational choice is "the best" -- how exactly do you go about finding the best school for your son?

That's really the million dollar question, isn't it?

We've talked previously about the fact that there is no one-size-fits-all answer to the education question. And we've covered the fact that what works for your son today (homeschooling, public school, etc.) may not work next year. We've also talked extensively about the fact that boys tend to learn differently than girls.

Now author Peg Tyre, perhaps best known for her book The Trouble With Boys, provides parents with some basic guidelines to use when evaluating educational options. In her latest book, The Good School, Tyre says that parents should look at the relationship between teacher and students, the general intellectual environment (does it include plenty of words? everyday references to mathematical concepts?) and school playgrounds.

In an interview with TIME magazine,Tyre advises parents to avoid schools without playgronds. She says, "kids need downtime — a break from the rigor" and recommends twenty minutes of recess a day, "at least."

Tyre also says that test scores have been over-emphasized in the past. (The TIME magazine article says, "Standardized tests only measure about a third of the curriculum that should be being taught in the school, which means if the school is only teaching the test material, your child is missing out on a lot.")

Instead of focusing on a school's standardized test scores, look at what's really going on in the classroom. Are the students connecting with the teacher? Excited about learning? Involved in their education? If so, odds are good that there's a lot of learning happening in the classroom.

Tyre also suggest looking past labels. A private school may not be better than a public school, and a charter school is not necessarily better (or worse) than any other school.

Bottom line:

• Know your son. Is your son a hands-on learner? Does he require lots of quiet time to absorb a concept, or does he do best in an active setting? Knowing your son's likes, dislikes and learning style can help you select an academic environment that fits his needs.
  


• Let go of your preconceived notions. You might have grown up believing that private school is the way to go, but that doesn't mean that the private school in your neighborhood will be the best fit for your son or your family. Open your mind and expand your options.
  


• Insist on activity. Boys (and girls) absolutely, positively must move around during the day. They also need time for free play.
  


• Words matter. One of the biggest determinants of academic success is the size of a child's vocabularly on entrance to kindergarten. So don't be afraid to use big words at home -- and don't shy away from schools or teacher who introduce complex subjects to small kids (in an age-appropriate manner, of course).
  


• Relationships matter! Tyre's #1 tip (in the TIME article) is that the relationship between teacher and student is prime, especially in preschool. You know what that means? If you're considering homeschooling your child, but hesitate because you feel unqualified, consider taking the leap. In the early years, the relationship between teacher and student is paramount -- and what could be closer than the relationship between parent and child? (If, however, homeschooling is putting a strain on your relationship, it might be time to investigate other educational alternatives.)
  


• Think about your needs. For a lot of years, I neglected my needs in favor of what I considered best for my boys. I'm learning to see, though, that a stressed-out, stretched-to-the-limit homeschooling mom may not be in my boys' best interests. I need to sleep, rest and work, and that's OK. So don't feel obligated to drive an hour across town to the "best" school. If it doesn't work for you, it doesn't work for your family.

Education -- and the Best Choice for YOUR Family

I admire Meagan Francis. She's a mom of five kids, a writer, an author, a blogger and an all-around happy person. Her latest book (and blog), The Happiest Mom, is designed to help moms enjoy life and motherhood. As Meagan says," Happy. Mother. You really can use both words in the same sentence."

Her latest blog post, though, hit me in a way that few posts ever do. In "School Choices and the Ideal Mother," Meagan details her struggles to find the "perfect education" for her children, and gives moms everywhere the right to make the decision that best suits their family.

From the responses she's been receiving, it seems that a lot of parents need to hear that message.

If you've been reading this blog for awhile, you may know that I'm a big proponent of homeschooling. But that doesn't mean that I think institutional education is evil. I think that each family needs to make the choices that best fit the needs of that family. Note that I said "family," and not "children." One of Meagan's major points is that the health and needs of the parents need to be considered also.

That can be a radical message for some parents. It's really, really easy to lose sightof your needs in your quest to satify your children's. But it's not only OK to consider your needs; it's absolutely essential.

And here's the other thing: The "right" educational choice can evolve over time as a family's needs change. Educating your family isn't a matter of choosing homeschooling over institutional schooling or private school vs. public school. No matter how carefully you make your decision, it's entirely likely that your child -- and your family -- will experience a variety of educational settings before the children take their place in the adult world.

In other words: It's OK to homeschool now. And to enroll your kid in school in a few years if that's what makes sense for you and your family. It's even OK to decide to homeshool him again later for his last year of high school, if that's what works.


Of course, the reverse remains true as well. It's OK to start your child in school, and then pull him out later if school isn't working for some reason. It's also OK to homeschool one kid and enroll the rest in school.

The bottom line is that you (and your spouse or partner, if you have one) are the only person who can decide at any given point in time what educational option is "best" for your family. My opinion doesn't matter. (Although I'm more than happy to provide information and resources!) Meagan's opinion doesn't matter. Neither does your mother-in-law's or the school prinicpal's or your local politician's.

So as this school year approaches, I enourage you to think long and hard about the educational choices available to your family. Then take a moment, if you will, to express some silent gratitude for those choices.

Finally, relieve the pressure. Let go of any lingering guilt. The educational choices you make this year -- this week, or next, or even next month -- are not permanent. You make a choice, you live with it, you see how it goes. It if works, great! If not, make another choice -- but don't beat yourself up for Choice #1. The best any of us can do is to respond to situations as they arise.

What educational choices are you making this year? Any changes from years past?

Camping with Kids

Last weekend, the boys and I went camping at a beautiful state park. It was hotter-than-you-know-what, but we had a great time! We spent the majority of our days down by the lake -- swimming, paddleboating, kayaking, playing in the sand and otherwise enjoying a slower pace of life. We also hiked to a waterfall and traipsed up and down the rocky hillsides along the creek. We caught lightning bugs, listened to a variety of different languages and toured a cave. All in all, it was a perfect, boy-friendly getaway.

That's not to say it was easy. Camping with kids is a lot of work. There's the packing, loading, unpacking, setting up, taking down -- and laundry once you get home. Not to mention the seems-like-constant-bickering of four boys in close proximity.

Still? Totally worth it.

I'm far from an experienced camper -- this was only our third outing -- but I've learned that my boys do better when they're allowed to contribute to the workload. Boy #2 was my master packer. He's always loved playing with block and is an expert at spatial relationships, so he took on the job of loading the van. It was his job to cram everything in -- and he did a great job!

All of my boys gathered wood for the campfire. They love to explore, so while I was setting up the tent, they took off in search of firewood. Soon, they returned with some fallen-down limbs and birch bark. (Did you know that birch bark is great for starting fires?) Thrilled by their finds, I sent them back for more birch bark. They returned with 8- to 10-foot fallen birch branches. So while I continued setting up the campsite, the boys took turns with the hatchet, chopping the birch into more manageable pieces.

Yes, hatchet. Last year, I bought a hatchet for use on our camping trips, and it's proved to be one of our most useful camping tools. It keeps the boys busy for hours! Certainly, I supervise its use, and I teach them the basics of tool safety before they get to use it. But they LOVE to chop wood! Boys like to feel useful, and chopping wood is (in their eyes) a fun way to contribute to the well-being of the family. Plus, they like hacking at and burning things.

If you're planning a camping trip with kids:

• Bring snacks. Nothing says camping like smores.
  
• Let them get dirty. Because it was so hot, my boys lived in their swim trunks for three days. The little two also refused to wash their faces on the grounds that we were camping. I let them stay dirty.
• Have the kids pack some diversions. My boys packed scooters and raced up and down the path to the bathroom. They also packed their baseball equipment and played a bit in the open area behind our campground.
• Be a stickler about safety. Yes, I let my boys use a hatchet. And the oldest two start campfires (under supervision). But when you're in the woods, on the lake or around a campfire, you can't let down your guard. Insist on life jackets while boating, teach your kids about poison ivy and enforce a do-not-enter zone around the campfire.
• Explore! Every state park or campground is different. We made it a point to see the waterfall that's a highlight of this particular park, but I also let the kids explore the area around our campground on their own.
• Don't push learning; let it happen. I certainly don't carry lesson plans into the woods. But I am aware of all the natural learning that happens when out in nature. Observe the flora and fauna. Discuss the similarities and differences of the local environment with your home zone. Follow your kids' interests.
• Allow for some independence. Camping means close quarters, and not all kids do well with that. Older kids, especially, may appreciate some time to pursue their interests independently. My 13-yr-old spent hours out fishing on the lake, alone.
• Involve the kids in the work. Younger kids can help collect sticks and fetch water. Older kids can plan meals and help with the set-up and take down.

What are some of your best tips for camping with kids?

What Kids Need to Learn

On March 30, in response to a Boston Globe article about kids and learning, I wrote, "What kids need to learn is 1. Time, 2. Space, 3. Access to Materials and 4. Support. They also need Freedom to Explore." I dubbed this the "time-space-access-support-freedom framework for learning."

I wrote that blog post based entirely on my own experiences and observations. I have seen, time and again, how my own children (and others) learn amazing things when left to their own devices in an enriching environment -- especially when there's an adult nearby to build on their interest and enthusiasm.

Flash forward to today. I'm in the midst of researching an article about scientific thinking in young children when these sentences catch my eye:

An environment that fosters scientific thiking is one that gives young children the time, space, and materials to exercise their curiosity. It also gives them the freedom to engage in child-centered explorations, experimentations, and explanations.

Those sentences, authored by Ruth Wilson, PhD, are part of a larger article entitled, "Promoting the Development of Scientific Thinking." They also echo my earlier sentiments exactly.

So...

Let your son splash in the tub. Toss in some old plastic containers as well.

Catch bugs with him. Talk about what they eat and where they live.

Let him play in the dirt. He'll find rocks and worms and bugs and a million other things to ponder.

Tolerate experimentation in the kitchen. My boys have mixed together some pretty nasty concotions, but learned a ton in the process.

Buy balloons. And magnets. Magnifying glasses too. Let your sons play with them.

Stop cringing when your son brings home critters. Let him observe and care for his catches briefly (if possible). Then help him figure out an appropriate habitat for said critters.

Encourage collections. I know -- you probably have too many rocks in the house already. But young boys learn by observing, comparing and classifying.

What are some of your favorite ways to encourage learning?

Keeping Boys Busy

Are your boys driving you crazy yet? (More than the usual crazy, I mean.)

Summer is a challenging time for many parents, especially working parents who are used to sending their kids to school all day. Homeschool parents, in general, are used to having their kids around, but they too face a new set of challenges in the summer. Institutionally-schooled kids, for instance, are around -- which may or may not be a good thing, depending on your neighborhood.

As a homeschooling, single mom, I'm well aware of the challenges on both sides of the spectrum. I completely, 100% get the desire to sign your kid up for every single available activity, just so he'll be out of the house. I need time to work, and it's hard to work with kids underfoot. But I also know that signing the boys up for activities they hate won't help their development one bit. So I refuse to sign the boys up for summer school "just because," even though it's a childcare steal. ($20 for four weeks of five-day a week, 8-12 education/babysitting.)

That said, it's hard to keep the boys busy. I'm not anti-TV or computer, but I don't want to the kids sitting in front of a screen eight hours a day. So what do we do for fun?

I need activites that 1) keep the boys engaged for hours and 2) take up little of my time. With those criteria in mind, I created this Keep Your Kids Occupied in the Summer article for healthline.com. My five top keep-'em-busy ideas are:

1. Birdwatching. While none of my kids are avid bird watchers, this idea was inspired by Boy #2's previous passion for butterflies. That kid spent two whole summers catching and categorizing butterflies, and the rest of us thoroughly enjoyed his hobby as well.


2. Gardening. My boys have been gardening with their dad for years. My oldest, age 13, has been selling produce at our local farmers' market for about that long. This year, for the first time, I planted a a garden behind my house with my five-year-old. It's not much, but he sure has fun watching our plants grow!


3. Building. Some parents are understandably leery about letting their boys work with tools, but few things occupy my boys' hands and minds as well as a building project. Boy #4, age 5, recently built his very own boat! (I'll post a picture later.)


4. Messy Art Party. This idea -- which involves a fair amount of parental prep -- is great way to get boys interested in the arts. What better way to introduce art and artists than to let your boys get dirty?


5. Bowling. Have you signed up for Kids Bowl Free yet? If not, do! It's not entirely free (you still need to spring for bowling shoes), but it's a great option for rainy days. We've already gone once this summer.

What about you? What are some your favorite keep-'em-busy activities?

Teaching Boys to Write

I've had some computer issues lately. (If three out of four computer crashing at approximately the same time counts as "some computer issues.") Needless to say, I've been away from the blog, because it's pretty hard to blog while facing the blue screen of death!

But I'm back now, and determined to make this blog better than ever. One thing I'll be adding: more video content. So on that note, let me introduce my first video clip, an excerpt of my 2011 Homeschooling Boys presentation at the Wisconsin Parents Association Conference.

Star Wars Day

Today is Star Wars Day. Don't get it? Say the date. Out loud. With a "the" between "May" and "4th". Add a "be with you on the end."

My boys, like many others, are Star Wars buffs. (In fact, my very first blog post was about light sabers.) We learned about the holiday by accident last year -- and celebrated by taking the kids to the park so they could have an epic light saber battle with other homeschooled kids. To the untrained eye, our children might have looked like a bunch of Star Wars crazed kids running amok through the woods in the middle of a school day. But our kids were learning, really and truly learning.

They were learning cooperation and leadership. Their imaginations were completely engaged. On the spot, they were crafting an enormously complex storyline, complete with characters and plot twists. They were also definitely getting their fill of physical activity. Running through the woods, swinging a light saber, is hard work!

If your son is a Star Wars fanatic, consider sprinkling some Star Wars themed learning into his day today. I posted a couple ideas on Twitter today. (Find me @jlwf) You can also:

• Head to the library and check out Star Wars books. There is something for every age and interest, from Easy Readers to chapter books. You can also find books about the weaponry, spaceships, special effects, etc.
• Watch the movies. Start with Epidsode 1: The Phantom Menace, or Episode 4: A New Hope, the original 1977 movie that will forever remain "the first Star Wars movie" in my head. The order doesn't matter. Spending time with your kids, digging into their passion, is what matters.
• Discuss/write about the systems of government in Star Wars. The Federation, the Senate...there's a lot of Social Studies and politics in Star Wars. Compare and contrast the various systems of government in the the Stars Wars universe with those in your own backyard.
• Study the science. Cloning is big in Star Wars. (Clone troopers, anyone?) Dig into the science behind the science-fiction. Talk to your kids about Dolly, the cloned sheep. (Watch a fun video here.) Ask their opinions about the ethics involved.
• Draw/paint scenes from the movie. One of the best things about Star Wars is that it's boy AND girl friendly. Boys typically prefer to draw action; they love weapons and spacecraft. Girls may prefer to focus on characters or costumes. (Remember, these are just generalizations. Some boys prefer costumes and some girls are all about the light sabers.)
• Let Yoda teach grammar. Yoda, Luke's tiny yet powerful Jedi Master, can teach your kids a thing or two about the English language. Think not, do you? Check out this Analysis of Yodish.
  

Do you have any other fun, Star Wars-related learning ideas? I'd love to hear them! What are you doing for Star Wars Day?

Boy Energy

I'll be speaking at the Wisconsin Parents Association conference in Oshkosh this weekend, reprising last year's Homeschooling Boys session. I'll also be presenting a new session, Boundless Energy: Understanding (and Respecting) Boys' Need for Movement.

Boys, as you well know, are built for action. Staying still is not their strong suit; jumping off couches is more their speed. But that nearly constant craving for activity can wear out even the most tolerant mom. My boys get away with a lot of stuff (see picture), but at some point, even I want to turn around and yell, "Stop!"

How do you cope with your sons' energy? Do you have any tips to help boys settle down and complete their assigned school work? Or do you eschew sit-down school work all together and plan innovative, active lessons? How do YOU help your boys learn? I'd love to share your comments, thoughts and ideas at my session this weekend.

"Teaching Too Much Can Stifle Exploration"

Have you seen the Boston Globe article about how babies learn?

The March 28 article, "A Squeeze, a Squeak, a Glimpse of Learning," provides fascinating insight into how young children learn -- and why, perhaps, our schools aren't as effective as they could be. In one interesting study, researchers handed preschoolers a complex cause-and-effect toy. Researchers showed half the kids how the device worked; the other kids were simply left to figure out the toy on their own. Guess which kids investigated the toy more thoroughly?

From the article:

Those who were explicitly taught how to make the toy squeak played with it for less time and discovered fewer functions than those who did not receive a tutorial. How children learned that the toy squeaked also affected their behavior. When the adult seemed to accidentally trigger the squeak instead of explicitly showing them how to use the toy, children explored more and discovered more aspects of the toy than when they received instructions.

The Globe says that, "teaching can...limit children's impulse to investigate and test their own ideas, and how something is taught to a child can affect his or her exploration." Is it any wonder that children who are force-fed knowledge for state-mandated tests show very little curiosity or true learning? By giving them the answers, we've taken away all the fun!

Children are, by nature, curious learners. From little on, they're constantly investigating the possibilities. They're driven, instinctively, to learn how the world works. So they invent experiments (What will happen if I mix my mashed potatoes into my milk?), observe the results and adjust their knowledge of the world accordingly. What kids need to learn is 1. Time, 2. Space, 3. Access to Materials and 4. Support. They also need Freedom to Explore, because once you've squashed a child's natural inquisitivenss, it's pretty hard to re-capture.

Interestingly, the time-space-access-support-freedom framework for learning is common -- but not exclusive to -- homeschoolers. Sandra Dodd, an unschooler, has frequently said that "strewing," leaving interesting things about, is an important part of her homeschooling. My homeschooling is much more along the lines of going interesting places/reading about interesting things/doing stuff with the boys than stuffing specific knowledge in their skulls. And the best schools seem to understand that allowing children to discover knowledge on their own is much more effective than rote learning. One thing I've been pleased to see at the schools my boys attend part-time: multi-sensory, project-based approaches to learning. My oldest son, for instance, learns language arts while also learning about civil rights. My second son's teacher will give students multiple options (act out a play, write summary, create a character) to demonstrate their learning.

What do you think of the time-space-access-support-freedom framework for learning?

Book Review: Tutor in a Book

It's the third week of school. How's it going?

School is a struggle for many boys. But that doesn't mean your sons are doomed to a lifetime of sub-par academic achievement. The key is understanding your son. What makes him tick? How does he learn? What obstacles are blocking his success?

Alexandra Mayzler, founder of Thinking Caps Tutoring, has written a new book to help all students reach their academic potential. Tutor in a Book: Better Grades as Easy as 1-2-3 features interactive quizzes to help you assess your child's learning style and situation, as well as real-life case studies and dozens of practical tips designed to boost your child's organization, time management and study skills.

Recently, I talked to Alexandra about the best ways to help boys learn:

Why do so many boys struggle in school?

I think that boys have a lot of energy, and it takes a lot of willpower for a middle school boy to hold that in while sitting in a chair for a whole lesson. Asking any child to sit quietly for a long period of time is a challenge, but boys, from the beginning are encouraged to be active, so honing focus is an even bigger challenge. Also, in the middle school years, a boy might be more inclined to rebel, so the consequences of rebellion may play out in school work.


Boys often have difficulty with the classic sit-down-and-learn approach that's so common in today's classroom. Are there any techniques that you find particularly useful when tutoring boys?


Make class interactive. Encourage boys to come up to the board and write answers. If there is time, start or finish a class period with an activity involving movement, such as stretching or a partner activity. Try hands-on projects such as diagrams or making boardgames. We also like to have boys do homework in non-traditional spots such as on the floor. As long as they stay organized and keep track of the materials, changing the homework spot can help boys stay focused.

So often, homework turns into a battle. What's your #1 homework tip for parents of boys?

Who knows your boy better than you do? Adapt a homework approach that fits his needs and lifestyle. If he needs to move around a lot during homework time, schedule short, frequent breaks. Communicate your goals and expectations before there’s a problem and hear what your son has to say about his hopes for the school year. By personalizing the study process and keeping communication lines open everyone can have a successful year!

Disclaimer: I received a free review copy of Tutor in a Book.

Boy Killed for Acting Like a Girl

Have you heard about the case of Roy Jones?

The 17-month-old baby boy was killed by his mother's boyfriend, Pedro Jones, in a savage beating. Jones' explanation -- "I was trying to make him act like a boy instead of a little girl" -- only makes things worse.

We've talked before about homophobia and gender expectations. If anything, this case should be a wake-up call to those who deny or minimize the harm our society regularly inflicts on boys who don't meet our pre-determined (and incredibly narrow) definition of "male."

For the record, boys come in all shapes, sizes and styles. Some boys are jocks -- and some are artists and musicians. Some are both, and no boy should ever have to choose one aspect of his personality over another just to fit in with the crowd.

For the record, a boy can wear a dress and still be a boy. A boy can bake cakes and still be a boy. A boy can cartwheel across the moon with pink fingernail polish on his toe- and fingernails and still be a boy.

When, oh when, are we going to expand our definitions of "boy" and "girl" to include, accept and love every little boy and girl on this Earth, no matter their appearance or demeanor?

I write often about gender differences, and I do believe that there are some innate biological differences between boys and girls and that those differences should be taken into consideration as we raise and educate our boys. But respecting boys' biology is far different than slamming someone for not being "boy" enough. To me, it's all about respect. As parents and adults, we should respect and nourish each boy's innate gifts, talents and interests. Trying to cram someone into a pre-determined box is never productive - and, sadly, sometimes leads to a small wooden box buried six-feet under.

RIP, Roy.

Gifted Gender Gap

In New York City, there are more gifted girls than boys -- or so one would believe, glancing at one of the many girl-heavy gifted classes.

According to the New York Times, the city's current population of gifted kindergarteners is 56% female, despite the fact that males actually account for 51% of all students in NYC. Why so few boys? The Times article lists a number of overlapping reasons:

Testing bias -- New York schools use two different tests to assess students' ability. One, the Bracken School Readiness Assessment, has been field tested for gender bias. Unfortunately, the Bracken test only accounts for 25% of a child's gifted score in New York. The other test, the Otis-Lennon Ability Test, has not been tested for gender bias and has a strong verbal component, which may play to the early verbal abilities of young girls. The Otis-Lennon test accounts for 75% of a child's score.

Delayed social and emotional development -- Many (most?) young gifted boys are still working on skills such as sitting still, sharing and impulse control. Young girls typically develop impulse control and relationship skills earlier than boys.

Non-academic tendencies -- Not all gifted children want to sit around the discuss the classics. Some gifted kids, especially some boys, prefer to create elaborate block towers or imaginative inventions. Educators who focus only on traditional academic measures of giftedness may miss some gifted boys.

What can you do?

Educate yourself about gifted issues, boys and education. Boys are disproportionately represented in special ed classrooms, and are far more likely than girls to be labeled as "learning disabled," "troublemakers," or "ADHD." Learn all you can about male and female brain development and share your information with your sons' teachers and schools.

Ask how your local school evaluates giftedness. Some schools rely on teacher recommendations; others, like New York, focus on standardized testing. If you believe the method used by your school district is unfair to boys, share your concerns. Be prepared to back up your position and to suggest alternative evaluation methods.

Encourage your sons' interests -- even the non-academic ones. School has increasingly become a sit-down-and-learn kind of place, but most boys are still active, experiential learners. If your son wants to spend hours dismantling broken appliances, let him. Give him some basic safety lessons, hand him a screw driver and be available to answer his many questions.

Gifted boys have a tough row to hoe. Being smart still isn't considered "manly," and far too many of our gifted boys are ignored by schools and society. So stand up for your son. He needs all the help he can get.

Want to know more about gifted boys? Be sure to read Lisa Rivero's guest post, Guiding Gifted Boys.