Creative Clutter

Are there blocks scattered about your living room? Random pieces of wood and nails on your garage floor?

Before you holler, take a deep breath and read this post. (I know -- the odds of you having your computer in the garage with you at this very moment are slim to none, but bear with me.)

This week, I'm teaching a class called, "Unleash Your Creativity." It's part of a special week of arts programing for adults (I like to call it "summer camp for grown-ups"), and my piece of it emphasizes the creative process. In my class, we don't create masterpieces; we play. Literally. Monday we colored with crayons. Yesterday, we sculpted with playdough and modeling clay. And today, we created cards out of paper, fabric, wallpaper and glue.

The point is to take people back in time to a place where it was safe to create. As children, most of us had no problem whatsoever reeling off a story or drawing a picture. But ask most adults to write a story and they'll say, "Oh. No. I'm not very good at that," because somewhere along the line they've gotten the message that creativity is for talented people only. And that they're not very talented.

In class, we're learning that creativity takes time and space, and that it's occasionally messy. (I spilled gold glitter down the front of my shirt!) Our project today involved mounds of material. The center of each table was heaped with supplies: fabric scraps, sheets of wallpaper, cardstock, glue, scissors, glitter and more. It was colorful, chaotic and oh so creative.

At the end of class, my students asked whether they should help put the supplies away or leave them out for the mini-creativity classes I'm teaching tonight. I told them to leave them out. That's when I learned about creative clutter.

One of my students is a feng shui consultant. Earlier in the class, she agreed with me when I said that clutter can be a barrier to creativity. All of my students are women, and women, particularly, are prone to putting off creation when piles of "shoulds" surround them. But this clutter, she said, gesturing toward the colorful piles, was good clutter. This kind of "mess," she said, invites creative energy.

Think about that.

Now think about the blocks on the living room floor. Or the wood and nails in the garage. Yes, it's possible that your sons' simply forgot to put things away. (Or that they left them there on purpose, hoping that the magic pick-up genie would appear.) But isn't it also possible that they were interrupted in the middle of creation? That their creative energies were used up for the day, but that they're not quite done with whatever burst of creativity they were experiencing?

When my boys are in the "zone" (and I can recognize the zone by their intense concentration and interest in a project), I let the mess linger. Case in point: cardboard boxes. Like many boys, mine are fascinated with large cardboard boxes. They've made clubhouses, snowmobiles, cars and rockets from boxes. Generally, the play takes more than one day. So I walk around boxes, markers and random cardboard shavings for days, 'til the boys' interest moves onto something else.

Yes, it's inconvenient. Yes, my house appears cluttered. No, my house will not be selected for a centerfold appearance in House Beautiful anytime in the near future. But that's OK. I'd much rather have my boys experience the joy of creativity.

And if that doesn't convince you to let the "mess" go, release responsibility to my feng shui consultant. She said it's OK, so please let your boys create.

Boy Energy

I'll be speaking at the Wisconsin Parents Association conference in Oshkosh this weekend, reprising last year's Homeschooling Boys session. I'll also be presenting a new session, Boundless Energy: Understanding (and Respecting) Boys' Need for Movement.

Boys, as you well know, are built for action. Staying still is not their strong suit; jumping off couches is more their speed. But that nearly constant craving for activity can wear out even the most tolerant mom. My boys get away with a lot of stuff (see picture), but at some point, even I want to turn around and yell, "Stop!"

How do you cope with your sons' energy? Do you have any tips to help boys settle down and complete their assigned school work? Or do you eschew sit-down school work all together and plan innovative, active lessons? How do YOU help your boys learn? I'd love to share your comments, thoughts and ideas at my session this weekend.

What Are Your Boys Into?

Ever notice how certain obsessions come and go?

For awhile, Boy #2 was obsessed with dinosaurs. Then he switched to butterflies. (Go figure.) Some days, the Tonka trucks are in style. Other days, they're not.

The latest obsessions at my house are Lincoln logs, sand and water. Let me explain.

The Lincoln logs are just, well, cool. We had some for years, but as you've probably already figured out, you can never have too many Lincoln logs. So when none of my brothers stepped up to claim the Lincoln logs at my parents' house last fall, I brought them home and added them to our stash.

For three days now, my youngest three boys have been creating elaborate constructions out of the notched wooden blocks. Garages seem to be their building-of-choice; miniature cars sit safely in the structures, guarded by the plastic figurines my boys so helpfully place on the roof.

Of course, no boy can stay inside forever, and lately when mine head outside, they head straight for the sandbox. They started digging last week, during a major rain storm. They dug out a pit, next to the sandbox. (WHY do they always have to dig next to the sandbox?) The pit filled with water, as intended. The boys joked that it would be funny to see a fish in the puddle, and Boy #1 happily agreed. He went fishing early the next morning with a friend and not-so-secretly planted three bullheads in the pit.

I may have been the only woman in the neighborhood with fish swimming at the bottom of her garage stairs. I'm pretty sure I'm the only woman in the neighborhood (in the town?) who ate a fish dinner today from her backyard. (Boy #1 fried us up a succulent fish dinner today after adding fish to the pond yesterday).

So the fish are gone -- but the boys' interest in sand and water has not abated. They were out there again this afternoon, re-shaping the pond and creating rivers, streams and dams.

What are your boys into these days?

Snapshot Sunday: Summer Snow

Want to know what happens next? Visit me on Facebook. Tell me you came from Blogging 'Bout Boys and you'll get to see the whole, glorious, messy scene.

Snapshot Sunday: A Homemade Boat

Snapshot Sunday: Boy & Birdhouse

Snapshot Sunday: Many Moons Ago

This Boy #1 -- before he hit his growth spurt, before his baby teeth fell out and before Boy #4 was born and this room was converted into Boy #1's bedroom. This is also what happens when you lose your camera. My camera has been missing for about three weeks, so I'm digging deep into the files to find something for Snapshot Sunday!

Giveaway: LeapFrog Tag Reading System Bundle!

I love educational toys. So I'm very pleased to announce a new contest (drum roll, please!), the LeapFrog Tag Reading System Giveway.

Thanks to my friend Sarah Ludwig at Parenting by Trial and Error, I've been selected as one of ten bloggers to host a LeapFrog giveaway. The prize is amazing: a LeapFrog Tag Reading System, including The Cat in the Hat and two extra books. Retail value: $77.97

In case you're not familiar with the Tag, it's the one with the magic pen -- you know, the pen that your child can drag over the words to read the words outloud. It also interacts with the book in dozen other ways (check out the demo), offering kids multiple ways to enter into the story. The Tag Reading System has won 28 awards in 6 countries and was recently named the Best Educational Toy of 2009.

So how do you enter? Leave a comment here, telling me why you want to win. (Limit one comment per person. For extra entries, you can:

• Tweet the contest (including a link to my blog). You can do this daily, so each day can equal another extra entry.


• Post about the contest on your blog.


• Join the Blogging 'Bout Boys community. Sign on as a follower (and be sure to let me know!)

Contest ends at 11:59 pm Central Time on Monday, September 28 2009 and the winner will be announced on Tuesday, September 29. Contest open to residents of the United States and Canada only. The winner be chosen by random.org and will have 48 hours to respond to notification with shipping info. If no response is received, another winner will be chosen at random.

Now for the really good news: You can enter 9 more times! Visit each of these blogs and sign up for extra chances to win. (Not all of the contests are up and running yet, so check back frequently)

Parenting By Trial and Error

Frisco Kids

Confessions of a Mean Mommy

Ready Mom

The Adventures of Supermom

3 Carnations

My Semblance of Sanity

World of Weasels

Blog Salad

Good luck!

Snapshot Sunday: Boy in a Bubble

Are Boys Overscheduled?

You've heard it before: Kids today are too busy. Between school and sports, church and community, there's simply no time to just be.

Writer Laura Vanderkam disagrees. The author of the forthcoming book 168 Hours passionately argued her point in a recent Wall Street Journal article, The Myth of the Overscheduled Child.

Vanderkam argues that everyone has the same 168 hours a week. (7 X 24) By her calucations, a boy who sleeps 9 hours a night and attends school 30 hours per week still has 73 hours left. And according to data from the University of Maryland, homework usually only takes up another 5 hours. Sports, 4 hours. Other organizations, less than 1.5 hours.

Obviously, those are averages. Some boys do more; some do less. The point, Vanderkam says, is that our children are not grossly overscheduled.

I'm not entirely convinced of her point -- and I was less convinced when I when read that she thinks moms have plenty of time in a day as well.

But one sentence made me think. Talking about the 40% of American children who are uninvolved in extracurricular activities, Vanderkam writes:

"Unfortunately, these young people tend not to fill their free time with the high-quality unstructured play that pundits praise. Many are at home, by themselves, watching TV..."

What do you think? Do you think boys are overscheduled? Or do you think they need more outside stimulation? Are too many of our boys frittering away their time?

The First Day of School

Today, kids all around town woke to alarm clocks and backpacks. Mine awoke to a pile of cardboard tubes and hacksaws.

While other kids crammed into desks on a beautiful, perfect 73 degree day, mine were sawing tubes in two. While other kids rose and sat to the sound of a bell, mine created contraptions of their own imagination. While other kids sat through History and Reading, mine learned about the Battle of Fallujah and listened to Huck Finn -- and spent the afternoon with great aunts and uncles who lived through the Depression and World War II.

We're a homeschooling family and today, I was glad.

Dozens of research studies have revealed a multitude of differences in the ways boys and girls learn. For the most part, boys are more active, hands-on learners than girls. Boys learn best when they see how a lesson directly applies to life and boys, biologically, require movement to absorb information.

Cut back to the tubes.

The tubes (and saws) were their Dad's idea. His office was clearing some space, so he loaded his car with the carboard tubes (think Christmas wrapping paper tubes, but much larger and more sturdy) and stopped by Home Depot to buy hacksaws and duct tape. Then he deposited the supplies on the toyroom for the boys to discover when they woke up.

Their creativity immediately took over -- and apparently, the focal points for creativity and bickering are located in the same lobe of the brain, because while my boys were actively engaged, the house was almost peaceful. I say almost because, well, hacksaws sawing through cardboard are not exactly peaceful.

Today, I saw boys learning in a way that suits boys. They were moving. They were using tools. They were creating structures that had meaning in their lives. Boy #1 is working hard to make a fort. Boy #2 has half a robot completed. Boy #3 was inspired by the tubes to finally build and paint the bench he'd wanted to make. (Not exactly a typical first-day-of-school assignment for a first grader).

They kept moving even while learning in a more traditional sense, while watching the Fallujah documentary and listening to Huck Finn. They might have looked like they weren't learning -- after all, there was cardboard everywhere and they continued to saw -- but I guarantee, they were learning.

At one point, Boy #1 walked through the toyroom and saw Boy #4 intently sawing a tube. "This doesn't happen in most houses," he said.

Nope, I agreed. I wish, though, that it did. I'm willing to bet that most boys would pick hacksaws and tubes over alarm clocks and backpacks anyday.

Snapshot Sunday: Boy Builder

Bird Boy

And in interesting boy news today, we have this story of a fifteen-year-old boy who was trying to raise 53 baby birds in his room.

His mother called animal control and the boy was ticketed for animal cruelty. I'm not sure what to think of the whole thing -- or how I'd react if I found over 50 birds in my son's room -- but I'm not sure it qualifies as animal cruelty either.

What do you think? What do you think the boy was trying to do? And how would you have reacted if you were his mother or father?

Gun Safety, Not Gun Control

I know -- I sound like a representative of the NRA.

In reality, nothing could be further from the truth; I actually think some gun control is a good thing. But we're not talking politics here; we're talking boys. And when it comes to gun play, I think our best bet is to seize the teachable moment.

Without being all preachy -- because, as William Pollack, PhD, author of Real Boys says, "the last thing you want to do is shame your child" -- explain what guns are. Explain what they are for --and what they are not.

And then, whether you want to or not, discuss gun safety. My biggest fear, when I see my 3-year-old pick up a plastic gun and "shoot" his brothers, is that he would do the same exact thing if he found a real gun. Sadly enough, it's a distinct possibility.

A 2001 study published in Pediatrics was called, "Seeing is Believing: What Do Boys Do When They Find a Real Gun?" The investigators paired up boys, ages eight to twelve, and placed them in a room with two water pistols and an actual .380 caliber handgun. The weapons were all concealed in separate drawers. Using a one-way mirror, the investigators had a first-hand glimpse of how boys would behave when they found a real gun. (It's worth noting here that EXTENSIVE safety controls were in place.)

Sixteen of twenty-one groups of boys who found the real gun handled it. In ten of the groups, one or more of the boys pulled the trigger.

It's a sobering study, one that clearly points the need to responsible gun ownership. If you have a gun, make sure it is properly locked up at all times; if having boys has taught me anything, it's that they can find anything they're not supposed to find. (And nothing they're supposed to. Are shoes really THAT hard to find?)

Ask about guns and gun security as well. If your son is going to be playing at a friend's house, you need to know whether or not there are guns in the home -- and I'm not talking plastic guns; I'm talking real guns that can really hurt. If the friends are gun owners (and you'd be surprised how many people are), ask about how the guns are secured. If you're not happy with the answer -- or just don't feel good about your son playing in a home where there are guns -- invite the friend over to your house instead.

Most importantly, review over and over and over again what to do if your son finds a gun. Ask him what he'd do if he found a gun other than the colorful plastic ones he sees laying around the neighborhood. If the answer is, "give it to an adult," -- WRONG! Stress that he should never -- ever -- touch an unknown gun. Tell him that he should immediately call an adult and let the adult handle the situation.

Each year, over 1000 children are killed by guns. Don't let your son be one of them.

Gun Play and Boys: Yay or Nay?

After I wrote about the contents of our toyroom, another boy mama wrote in with a question:

OMG! My son just (to my horror!) discovered ... guns! It's a total fixation since we were visiting another pal of mine with an older boy. I'm hoping it passes. I'm a big fan of gun control ... even the toys ones. Any advice for steering a 3 yr old away from the firearms?

She reminds me of me eight short (or is that long?) years ago.

Our oldest son was three, and up to that point, we'd sheltered him from toy guns. I grew up in a no-toy-gun household, even though I had four brothers; our squirt guns were animals or empty syrup bottles, never miniature guns. My husband was a former Marine (and an excellent shot), but I saw no need for my son to PLAY with something meant to cause death and destruction.

Then we moved into our house. The house came with excellent neighbors, but with the neighbors came toy guns. My son loved them -- the neighbors AND the guns.)

What was I to do? If I banned toy guns all together, my son would be left out of most neighborhood games. (Did I mention the high boy population in my neighborhood?) And even if I banned them, the damage was done: he'd seen the guns and he wanted one.

My husband -- a former boy himself -- advised me to not make it a big deal. Make it big deal, he said, and you'll only make things worse.

So I nervously watched while my innocent child played guns. I drafted an essay about his fascination with guns, and breathed a sigh of relief a few days later when I wrapped it up: After days of intense interest, the plastic gun lay forgotten next to the toy box while my son once again watched Elmo.

If only I was to be so lucky.

That same son is now 11, and his favorite channel on TV is the Military Channel. Guns are no longer his weapon of choice; he'd much rather wield a light saber when saving the world. He does, however, have a BB gun and pellet gun and enjoys shooting targets in the garage.

So no -- I don't have any advice for steering a three-year-old away from guns. I do have some reassuring words, though. A fascination with guns does not mean your son is going to turn into a crazed homicidal maniac. It doesn't mean that your son is someday going to shoot up his school. It doesn't even mean he'll become a hunter.

Lest you think I'm making this up, the research backs me up on this one:

• Gun play helps boys learn the difference between real violence and fantasy violence. So says a study published in the American Journal of Play. Boys, as we've discussed before, are biologically prone to aggression. Pretend gun play gives them a chance to experiment with aggression and power without actually hurting anyone. It also gives them the chance to play the hero.



• Playing with guns helps boys develop a sense of their masculinity. I know -- I'm doubtful about this one too. But the author of the same study suggests that "boys' play with guns is in, part, an important test or proof of their masculinity."



• Gun play helps boys process real violence. Nancy Carlsson-Paige, co-author of, Who's Calling the Shots?: How to Respond Effectively to Children's Fascination with War Play and War Toys, says,"If parents 'ban' gun play, they run the risk of cutting off a valuable vehicle children need for processing the violence [because] kids use their play to make meaning of what they have expereienced in life, and in this case, of the violence they have seen." (Which can include everything from cartoons to TV shows, video games and books.)

What do you think? Do you think playing with guns inspires violence? What's the gun control policy at your house?

You Know You Have Boys When....

....your toyroom contains:

• 2 ride-on toys (1 Kawasaki four-wheeler and 1 John Deere tractor)
• 4 tractors
• 2 barns
• about a zillion Lincoln Logs
• 2 hard hats
• 1 tractor-backhoe
• 2 front-endloaders
• 1 bulldozer
• 4 dump trucks
• 1 backhoe
• 1 cement mixer
• 1 grader
• 2 plastic guns
• assorted plastic tools
• a pirate playset, complete with pirate hat
• 2 balls (1 foot-, 1 tennis)
• random Legos
• 2 four-wheelers
• 1 plastic brontosaurus (sorry -- Apatosaurus)
• 2 airplanes
• 2 flashlights (1 Elmo, 1 tiger)
• a stuffed Teletubby
• and Bob the Builder playset (Bob, Wendy, Muck, Scoop, Lofty and Rolly included)

Paper Airplane Preview

Paper airplanes are almost the perfect boy toy. They're cheap, entertaining, portable and endlessly amusing.

This weekend, I'll be presenting the "Let's Fly Paper Airplanes" session at the Wisconsin Parents Association conference. The idea grew out of last year's conference experience. Son #1 and Son #2 were deeply involved in a chess and checkers session; Sons #3 and 4 were completely and totally bored.

To keep them entertained, I folded my schedule for the day into a paper airplane. They were hooked! So were the other young children in the room. Before the session ended, I had folded over 20 paper airplanes and the air was littered with formerly flat paper.

I realized I'd stumbled onto something and proposed the session, which is turning out to be hugely popular. Over 80 people have already signed up for a session intially scheduled for 40; another adult has been enlisted to facilitate a second session.

Can't make it to the conference? Check out these links and begin an exploration of flight right at home:

http://www.10paperairplanes.com/ -- This site has 10 different designs and explicit, animated instructions of how to fold each.

www.paperplane.org -- Your kids will love the intro to this site -- I guarantee it! The added bonus is lots of interesting info about paper airplane design, history and aerodynamics from the current Guinness World Record holder for the longest time aloft.

Creation

"The opposite of war isn't peace; it's creation."
-- La Vie Boheme, from the musical Rent

Yesterday my husband ran over a remote for a remote-controlled car. The case was cracked open just enough that the boys could see the chip inside -- and they were inspired.

"I think I could build an RC car with that," Son #2 told me.

(Apparently, they overestimate my husband's electrical abilities by just a little.)

Today, the remote was gone, but Son #3 correctly surmised that without a remote, the car is just a car. He asked if we could take it apart.

We've taken things apart before and had a ball. Last fall, we had a collection of broken things we dissected: an old popcorn popper, a hand-held vaccuum and a vaporizer. We'd been reading about motors, so it was fascinating for the boys to discover the mini-motors inside. And of course, they relish the chance to smash apart just about anything.

In the current issue of Home Education Magazine, Nancy Walters has a great article called "Nurturing Destructive Tendencies." Walters did a similar activity with her homeschool group, unloading a bunch of broken appliances and setting the kids loose with screwdrivers and other tools.

But while boys enjoy destruction for destruction's sake (c'mon -- it IS kind of cool to see how things fly apart when you whack them with a hammer!), the true learning I saw this morning involved CREATION.

Sons #2 and 3 hunched over the pile of parts, eyes alert, looking for anything they might use to make something else. Son #3 was rescuing the seats and wheels, to use to craft another car. Son #2 ran off and got the motor he'd saved from the vaporizer.

The motor didn't work while in the vaporizer; years of mineral build up prevented it from turning freely. Once we had it apart, though, we discovered that it still worked.

So today, Son #2 rummaged through the pile of plastic parts, combined pieces from the RC car with the vaporizer motor and experimented with lift and flight. He managed to attach a blade to the top of the motor that, he said, was almost powerful enough to lift it into the air.

This was the child who spent yesterday moping around the house, moaning that "there's nothing to do." Today, with a pile of junk in front of him, his eyes were glowing with curiosity and connection.

The car, BTW, was one that Son #3 received as a Christmas present. Not even six months ago.

I suppose I could have yelled at him. I suppose I could have chastised him for being careless with his toys. But here's the thing: it was his toy, given as a gift. What he decides to do with it from there (aside for hurting others or destroying their possessions) is really up to him.

Besides, the fun we had with it today was worth way more than the original $12 pricetag.

Not as Smart as Cats

My husband and boys purchased a cheap red laser pointer this weekend. It was advertised as "fun for pets," and they imagined the cats going crazy over it. "It'll be good exercise for the cats," they told me.

Except that our cats, apparently, did not get that memo. Our cats were -- how to put this politely? -- less than interested. They glanced at the red dot and simply went about their business.

My boys, on the other hand, consider this laser pointer to be the best toy ever made. While the cats lie contentedly beneath the wood stove, Son #2 is flashing the pointer all over the house while Son #1 (the 11-yr-old) pounces all over it.

This game has been going on for 24 hours.

Someone, it seems, is getting exercise, but it's not the cats!

The Rice Box

This, my friends, is our rice box. It's the newest addition to our playtime stash and a huge hit with the boys, especially Boy #4, my tractor-and-truck-loving 3-yr-old.

As you can see, it's pretty simple: just a big plastic container filled with rice. In this case, 20 lbs. of rice. (At least that's what it was initially. I'm willing to bet we're down to 18 lbs. or so at present!)

I won't pretend it was my idea. I got the idea when Boy #4 visited a friend a week or so ago came home all excited about their "rice box." The friend's Mom explained the concept to me, and since we were headed to the grocery store anyway, I figured, why not?

Within minutes of coming home, I'd dumped the rice into the container (which we already had), and a few seconds after that, all the boys descended on it. Everyone, from the oldest to the youngest, enjoys playing with it.

Yes, it's messy. But it's also easy to clean up, and for the fun they've had with it, totally worth it. Cheap, easy, multi-sensory and imaginative -- my kind of plaything!