Yesterday, my six-year-old -- my innocent, cherubic-faced 6-year-old -- told me that his "rich, secret life" would include lots of tractors. And 1000 girls.
The tractors were no surprise. This boy has loved John Deere tractors and all kinds of heavy construction equipment from day one. 1000 girls, though? That surprised me.
What kind of girls, I asked?
He motioned me closer and whispered in my ear: "Sexy."
Then added: "Not fat."
My son is six-years-old, and already he has completely internalized the American ideal of female beauty. (By they way, he further added, "No glasses" to his list of requirements for the girls. When I pointed out that I wear glasses, at least on occasion, he told me I'm "not sexy.")
Six. Years. Old!
As a woman, I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed and disgusted that our society's version of beauty is so narrow and pervasive that even our prepubescent boys know exactly what flavor of eye candy should be hanging on their arms. As a mom, I'm disturbed. Is it my fault? Have I let him see too much? Because we do watch TV, and I'm not exactly strict about limiting his screen time to material best suited for kids 6 and under. Don't get me wrong; I do keep tabs on what he watches, and more often than not, he's watching something on PBS. (Wild Kratts, for instance, is his favorite show.) But somehow, some way, my little boy has gotten the message that sexy women are desirable, and that sexy = not fat.
Yet is it surprising? Is there any way at all to miss that message in our culture?
The question is, how do we, as parents of boys, help our boys see past the stereotypes? How do we help them understand that women are for more than sex, and that a person's worth does not depend on their physical appearance?
It's tough. Our boys are clearly growing up in a sex-saturated culture that tells them that girls are good for one thing. (Or maybe more. Clearly, sex appeal is useful for selling cars also. And beer. And, well, Internet hosting companies. Did you see the GoDaddy ads during the SuperBowl?)
But I want my boys to know that women and girls are multi-faceted human beings, just like men and boys. I want my boys to value character, intelligence and integrity, not chest and ass and face. And sometimes, I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.
Then I remember that the real world always holds more power than the fictional world held up by the media. And I remember that my boys are surrounded by many examples of strong, intelligent, capable women. And I think that, perhaps, that is the answer, that exposing my boys to all kinds of wonderful women will somehow broaden their definition of "woman." Every day, my boys see complex, three-dimensional women, and I hope that they will gradually understand that a real woman is much more wonderful than the one-dimensional sex symbols flaunted in the media.
That's one piece. The other piece of the puzzle involves combating the negative media images of women. I want my sons to know that what they see on TV and in magazines is not real, that even the women in the ads don't look that way. So I show them videos like Dove's Evolution video, which vividly shows the transformation of a woman into a flawless work of art. And we talk about photoshopping and unrealistic expectations and eating disorders. (Actually, we need to talk about these things some more.)
The next step is working toward a more positive and realistic representation of women in the media. Yesterday, I signed 8th grader Julia Bluhm's petition to ask Seventeen magazine to include at least one un-photoshopped image in each issue. (Sad, isn't it, that asking for once such photo is a major step!)
It's a start.
What are you doing to help your sons sort through the negative messages they receive about women from the media?
Friday, May 4, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Boys & Bullying, Take 2
I was bullied as a child and no one ever told me that I had a RIGHT to
my well-being and I learned to "take it." As a result, I allowed people
to push me around and I became a frightened, timid, individual until I
reached my mid-30s... What kind of mixed messages are we, the "grown-ups," sending children who bully and are bullied?
-- Lisa Blyth, Blogging 'Bout Boys reader who blogs at Living My Imagination
My previous post about Boys & Bullying generated a lot of interesting and provocative comments, including the one above. What do you think of her perspective?
I think she brings up an important and valid point. When we don't allow children to stand up for themselves -- and I'd argue that certain zero-tolerance policies make it very hard for kids to stand up for themselves -- we are, in effect, telling them to take it. We are slowly and subtly teaching them to tolerate abuse. And if the system (school officials, etc) fail to respond or protect the child, we are also teaching him (perhaps accurately) that the system is unreliable and has little to no interest in protecting people from psychological or emotional abuse.
But teachers and schools have a lot to handle, and even well-intentioned teachers and school administrators struggle with the issue of bullying. Take a look at some of these comments, which were posted on my Facebook page:
the problem is that bullying behavior is rarely reported, which puts a lot on the teachers to be able to spot it...but with as many demands as they have already, tht's one that slips through the cracks. it's also chalked up a lot to "kids will be kids."
-- A Wisconsin teacher
Pulling a card is a behavior management plan where a child pulls a card when they misbehave. As the infractions increase the punishment increase...if the child has a disability they can only receive 10 days per year. If this child had 10, the school hands are tied.
-- Principal of a Georgia elementary/middle school
Part of the problem, as the Wisconsin teacher points out, is that our schools contain a widely diverse student body:
Very few other countries have the poverty issues the the US has, nor do they have the number of special needs students.
Just imagine trying to deal with bullying in a class or school that contains hungry children, or children who have been abused, or kids who have serious disabilities and mental health concerns. I can see how that would be a challenge! And yet at the same time, I, like most other parents, want my children (and yours) to feel safe in school, at home, and in their community.
What I've learned, though, is that there are no easy answers. Solving bullying is not as simple as instituting an anti-bullying or zero-tolerance policy. It's not as simple as saying "use your words" or "fight back if necessary." To truly combat bullying, we need to address some serious societal problems. We need to address the home environment; I truly believe that a child who feels loved, valued and important is far less likely to bully another child than one who is belittled and abused at home.
Somehow, some way, we -- as a society -- have to learn to treat each other with respect, and we need to teach our children not only how to treat others with respect, but how to insist on respectful treatment as well. Because Lisa is right: sub-consciously encouraging our children to accept abuse, either at home or in school, will only perpetuate the problem.
-- Lisa Blyth, Blogging 'Bout Boys reader who blogs at Living My Imagination
My previous post about Boys & Bullying generated a lot of interesting and provocative comments, including the one above. What do you think of her perspective?
I think she brings up an important and valid point. When we don't allow children to stand up for themselves -- and I'd argue that certain zero-tolerance policies make it very hard for kids to stand up for themselves -- we are, in effect, telling them to take it. We are slowly and subtly teaching them to tolerate abuse. And if the system (school officials, etc) fail to respond or protect the child, we are also teaching him (perhaps accurately) that the system is unreliable and has little to no interest in protecting people from psychological or emotional abuse.
But teachers and schools have a lot to handle, and even well-intentioned teachers and school administrators struggle with the issue of bullying. Take a look at some of these comments, which were posted on my Facebook page:
the problem is that bullying behavior is rarely reported, which puts a lot on the teachers to be able to spot it...but with as many demands as they have already, tht's one that slips through the cracks. it's also chalked up a lot to "kids will be kids."
-- A Wisconsin teacher
Pulling a card is a behavior management plan where a child pulls a card when they misbehave. As the infractions increase the punishment increase...if the child has a disability they can only receive 10 days per year. If this child had 10, the school hands are tied.
-- Principal of a Georgia elementary/middle school
Part of the problem, as the Wisconsin teacher points out, is that our schools contain a widely diverse student body:
Very few other countries have the poverty issues the the US has, nor do they have the number of special needs students.
Just imagine trying to deal with bullying in a class or school that contains hungry children, or children who have been abused, or kids who have serious disabilities and mental health concerns. I can see how that would be a challenge! And yet at the same time, I, like most other parents, want my children (and yours) to feel safe in school, at home, and in their community.
What I've learned, though, is that there are no easy answers. Solving bullying is not as simple as instituting an anti-bullying or zero-tolerance policy. It's not as simple as saying "use your words" or "fight back if necessary." To truly combat bullying, we need to address some serious societal problems. We need to address the home environment; I truly believe that a child who feels loved, valued and important is far less likely to bully another child than one who is belittled and abused at home.
Somehow, some way, we -- as a society -- have to learn to treat each other with respect, and we need to teach our children not only how to treat others with respect, but how to insist on respectful treatment as well. Because Lisa is right: sub-consciously encouraging our children to accept abuse, either at home or in school, will only perpetuate the problem.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Helpful Blogs for Parents of Boys
There are 250 blogs participating in this year's blogathon! In 2009 -- the first year I participated in the blogathon -- there were less than 30.
That year, I ran a full list of participating bloggers. This year, I'm going to suggest some blogs that you might enjoy:
Amanda Steinhaus – Ms. Panda’s Blog, Poetry, children’s stories, playwriting and more. Last year, she posted My 5 Favorite Children's Picture Books.
Anna Murphy – Murphy Baby, Wife and mama to baby Ronan. Recorded words because I never want to forget what this feels like.Anna is mama to a baby boy, and she'll remind you of that sweet first year all over again.
Cariann McCready – Unionvale Mom’s Spot, Rural life with family, food, crafts and books. She's a homeschool mom of two boys!
Claudia Neely – Social Skills Success, Teaching parents of special needs teens, pre-teens and young adults how to mainstream their kids into successful peer groups and more. Claudia specializes in dealing with kids who have ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, Anxiety Disorders and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders.
Danielle – Porridge Report, Digital doses for the modern family as seen by a distracted mother and writer. Today's post is about how to make slime!
Debbie Kaplan – Frisco Kids, Your guide to kid-friendly events and trips around the San Francisco Bay area. If you live in or near -- or if you plan to visit -- San Fran, you'll love this blog.
Doña Bumgarner - Aubergine, Musings of a midlife mama. Today's post is about rest. What parent of boys doesn't need rest? ;)
Jackie Dishner - Bike with Jackie, Your guide to inspiration, encouragement, quirky stories, laughs and life-changing adventures. Jackie blogs all about self-improvement, and she's not afraid to share her struggles either.
Jan Udlock – Imperfect Mom, Professional writer, parenting expert, mom of five. Jan's a homeschooling mom of five. Two years ago, she wrote a guest post for Blogging 'Bout Boys during the blogathon.
Jenni Derryberry Mann - Mamahhh, Navigating the labyrinth of motherhood one breath at a time. She has happy birth stories!
Jennifer Patrick - Still Living the Dream, Raising two young kids in my 40s. Jennifer won an award for her rock-star costume at her daughter's recent piano recital -- except she wasn't wearing a costume!
Kate Reilly – Polkadot Suitcase, Finding fun through creative living. Kate's a homeschool mom of two boys. She's also written some amazing, hands-on learning books.
Katy Manck - Books YA Love, Recommending young adult books beyond the bestsellers. Need help finding your teens something to read? Look here!
Kirsten Oge – Puppy Paws and Dirty Noses, First time mom and housewife. Kirsten has an adorable 4-month-old son -- and blog title that just screams "boy!"
Leah Ingram – Suddenly Frugal, How to live more on less money. Leah always has some great tips.
Liz Sheffield - Motherlogue, A mother talks about mothering, writing and life. Check out her post about Facebook and parenting.
Sandra Hume – Little House Travel, Everything Little House fans and their families should know about traveling to places Laura Ingalls Wilder called home. Plan a trip?
Sarah E. Ludwig - Parenting by Trial and Error, The learning curve in raising kids. During my first blogathon, Sarah wrote a guest post about the mysteries of raising boys.
Stephanie Vozza – Five Minute Mom’s Club, Simplify, simplify, simplify. Then organize. Stephanie has a husband, two boys, two dogs -- and some tips to help you manage your life.
Tere Scott - Teachable Scotts Tots Homeschool, Parenting and homeschooling; and Elephant Ears Learning, Homeschooling resources and tips.
Want more? The full list of 2012 Blogathon participants is here.
That year, I ran a full list of participating bloggers. This year, I'm going to suggest some blogs that you might enjoy:
Amanda Steinhaus – Ms. Panda’s Blog, Poetry, children’s stories, playwriting and more. Last year, she posted My 5 Favorite Children's Picture Books.
Anna Murphy – Murphy Baby, Wife and mama to baby Ronan. Recorded words because I never want to forget what this feels like.Anna is mama to a baby boy, and she'll remind you of that sweet first year all over again.
Cariann McCready – Unionvale Mom’s Spot, Rural life with family, food, crafts and books. She's a homeschool mom of two boys!
Claudia Neely – Social Skills Success, Teaching parents of special needs teens, pre-teens and young adults how to mainstream their kids into successful peer groups and more. Claudia specializes in dealing with kids who have ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorders, Anxiety Disorders and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders.
Danielle – Porridge Report, Digital doses for the modern family as seen by a distracted mother and writer. Today's post is about how to make slime!
Debbie Kaplan – Frisco Kids, Your guide to kid-friendly events and trips around the San Francisco Bay area. If you live in or near -- or if you plan to visit -- San Fran, you'll love this blog.
Doña Bumgarner - Aubergine, Musings of a midlife mama. Today's post is about rest. What parent of boys doesn't need rest? ;)
Jackie Dishner - Bike with Jackie, Your guide to inspiration, encouragement, quirky stories, laughs and life-changing adventures. Jackie blogs all about self-improvement, and she's not afraid to share her struggles either.
Jan Udlock – Imperfect Mom, Professional writer, parenting expert, mom of five. Jan's a homeschooling mom of five. Two years ago, she wrote a guest post for Blogging 'Bout Boys during the blogathon.
Jenni Derryberry Mann - Mamahhh, Navigating the labyrinth of motherhood one breath at a time. She has happy birth stories!
Jennifer Patrick - Still Living the Dream, Raising two young kids in my 40s. Jennifer won an award for her rock-star costume at her daughter's recent piano recital -- except she wasn't wearing a costume!
Kate Reilly – Polkadot Suitcase, Finding fun through creative living. Kate's a homeschool mom of two boys. She's also written some amazing, hands-on learning books.
Katy Manck - Books YA Love, Recommending young adult books beyond the bestsellers. Need help finding your teens something to read? Look here!
Kirsten Oge – Puppy Paws and Dirty Noses, First time mom and housewife. Kirsten has an adorable 4-month-old son -- and blog title that just screams "boy!"
Leah Ingram – Suddenly Frugal, How to live more on less money. Leah always has some great tips.
Liz Sheffield - Motherlogue, A mother talks about mothering, writing and life. Check out her post about Facebook and parenting.
Sandra Hume – Little House Travel, Everything Little House fans and their families should know about traveling to places Laura Ingalls Wilder called home. Plan a trip?
Sarah E. Ludwig - Parenting by Trial and Error, The learning curve in raising kids. During my first blogathon, Sarah wrote a guest post about the mysteries of raising boys.
Stephanie Vozza – Five Minute Mom’s Club, Simplify, simplify, simplify. Then organize. Stephanie has a husband, two boys, two dogs -- and some tips to help you manage your life.
Tere Scott - Teachable Scotts Tots Homeschool, Parenting and homeschooling; and Elephant Ears Learning, Homeschooling resources and tips.
Want more? The full list of 2012 Blogathon participants is here.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Blogathon 2012!
You'll be hearing a lot more from me this month.
Today is May 1, and it's the official kick-off day for Blogathon 2012, an event planned and sponsored by Michelle Rafter of WordCount. The Blogathon is a challenge -- participants are supposed to blog every day for the month of May -- but it's also a chance to connect. Blogathon participants connect with one another, but more importantly, they connect with their blog readers. That's what I want to do this Blogathon: connect with you.
The timing couldn't be better. I'm back from the annual conference of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, where my article, "Help Your Son Succeed in School," received 1st place in the Service category in the organization's 2012 Outstanding Article competition. The award -- and the positive attention my article has received -- has inspired me to re-commit to the purpose of this blog. I write this blog for you, parents of boys, and I want my words and resources to help you as you parent your sons.
So let me ask you:
It's time to shake things up. Let the Blogathon begin!
Today is May 1, and it's the official kick-off day for Blogathon 2012, an event planned and sponsored by Michelle Rafter of WordCount. The Blogathon is a challenge -- participants are supposed to blog every day for the month of May -- but it's also a chance to connect. Blogathon participants connect with one another, but more importantly, they connect with their blog readers. That's what I want to do this Blogathon: connect with you.
The timing couldn't be better. I'm back from the annual conference of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, where my article, "Help Your Son Succeed in School," received 1st place in the Service category in the organization's 2012 Outstanding Article competition. The award -- and the positive attention my article has received -- has inspired me to re-commit to the purpose of this blog. I write this blog for you, parents of boys, and I want my words and resources to help you as you parent your sons.
So let me ask you:
- What confuses you about your boys?
- What questions do you have about your sons' development?
- What challenges do you face parenting your boys? With their education?
- What resources have you found particularly helpful?
It's time to shake things up. Let the Blogathon begin!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Boys & Bullying
We need to talk about bullying.
My news feed this morning contained not one, but two, disturbing stories of boys who were bullied. Boy #1, a 10-year-old, has been charged with a crime after taking a BB gun to school to intimidate his bullies. Boy #2, age 9, has been suspended from school after allegedly punching his bully in the face -- after the bully kicked and punched him.
These stories are not isolated. Close to home, I know a teenage boy who was suspended from school for physically standing up to the bully who'd harassed him for the better part of a year. I'm willing to bet that you've head similar stories in your hometown.
What's the answer?
I don't know. But I do know this: What we're doing isn't working. Telling our boys to ignore bullying, to walk away, to use their words and to tell a teacher isn't working. Our anti-bullying programs aren't working; if they were, there wouldn't be anymore bullying.
On my Homeschooling Boys Facebook page, we recently discussed the Daily Kos article, "'Bully': Getting Past 'Boys Will Be Boys,'" an article about the new movie Bully. The article notes that:
Bully is also concerned with how bullied kids are penalized for fighting back. Most powerfully, Ja'Meya faces more than 40 felony charges; obviously no one sane would argue that pulling a gun is the way to handle teen bullies, or that her action should go unpunished, but it's striking how the routine harassment and abuse bullied kids face is tolerated in contrast. Ty, the 11 year old boy who killed himself did so, his father says, after he was suspended from school for fighting—fighting back. Alex never fights back himself, but when his parents complained, backed up by the filmmakers' footage of Alex being assaulted, it was Alex, not the bullies, who is made to ride another bus.
I agree that we absolutely need to teach bullying prevention. And I agree that all children need to be taught multiple ways of handling conflict. But I do not agree that bullied children should not be allowed to stand up for themselves.
I am anti-violence in almost every way, shape and form. But I am also the mother of four boys, and as the mother of boys, I've learned a little bit about boy culture. For better or for worse, boy culture includes competition and dominance. Walking away from a fight almost never engenders respect among other boys; instead, it marks the walker as an easy target.
When my boys' father was in high school, one boy picked on him frequently. Finally, their Dad stood up for himself physically. The bully never bothered him again. How many of you know grown men who have similar stories?
I'm not saying we should encourage our boys to fight. I'm saying that we need to stop imposing the same penalties on both bullies and the bullied. Hitting someone (or physically intimidating them) once is not the same thing as consistently harassing, belittling and assaulting someone.
What do you think? How do you help your sons deal with bullies? What would you have done if you'd been the school administrators in the cases above?
My news feed this morning contained not one, but two, disturbing stories of boys who were bullied. Boy #1, a 10-year-old, has been charged with a crime after taking a BB gun to school to intimidate his bullies. Boy #2, age 9, has been suspended from school after allegedly punching his bully in the face -- after the bully kicked and punched him.
These stories are not isolated. Close to home, I know a teenage boy who was suspended from school for physically standing up to the bully who'd harassed him for the better part of a year. I'm willing to bet that you've head similar stories in your hometown.
What's the answer?
I don't know. But I do know this: What we're doing isn't working. Telling our boys to ignore bullying, to walk away, to use their words and to tell a teacher isn't working. Our anti-bullying programs aren't working; if they were, there wouldn't be anymore bullying.
On my Homeschooling Boys Facebook page, we recently discussed the Daily Kos article, "'Bully': Getting Past 'Boys Will Be Boys,'" an article about the new movie Bully. The article notes that:
Bully is also concerned with how bullied kids are penalized for fighting back. Most powerfully, Ja'Meya faces more than 40 felony charges; obviously no one sane would argue that pulling a gun is the way to handle teen bullies, or that her action should go unpunished, but it's striking how the routine harassment and abuse bullied kids face is tolerated in contrast. Ty, the 11 year old boy who killed himself did so, his father says, after he was suspended from school for fighting—fighting back. Alex never fights back himself, but when his parents complained, backed up by the filmmakers' footage of Alex being assaulted, it was Alex, not the bullies, who is made to ride another bus.
I agree that we absolutely need to teach bullying prevention. And I agree that all children need to be taught multiple ways of handling conflict. But I do not agree that bullied children should not be allowed to stand up for themselves.
I am anti-violence in almost every way, shape and form. But I am also the mother of four boys, and as the mother of boys, I've learned a little bit about boy culture. For better or for worse, boy culture includes competition and dominance. Walking away from a fight almost never engenders respect among other boys; instead, it marks the walker as an easy target.
When my boys' father was in high school, one boy picked on him frequently. Finally, their Dad stood up for himself physically. The bully never bothered him again. How many of you know grown men who have similar stories?
I'm not saying we should encourage our boys to fight. I'm saying that we need to stop imposing the same penalties on both bullies and the bullied. Hitting someone (or physically intimidating them) once is not the same thing as consistently harassing, belittling and assaulting someone.
What do you think? How do you help your sons deal with bullies? What would you have done if you'd been the school administrators in the cases above?
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Virtual Book Club: Thoughts on The Mama's Boy Myth
Have you ever been counseled to push your son away? To create some psychological distance between yourself and your son? To stop "babying" him or kissing or hugging him?
Ahmeritt, a Blogging 'Bout Boys reader was. Her son is now 18, but she distinctly remembers "a church deacon counseling my husband to not let his son be too close to his mother."
Such advice -- and the fears represented by such misguided advice -- is examined closely in Kate Stone Lombardi's book, The Mama Boy's Myth. For decades, Lombardi says, women have been counseled to back off from their sons, lest they somehow contaminate, corrupt or otherwise interfere with their sons' development. But those misguided messages, she argues, are harmful to both boys and their mothers -- and to the society at large.
She starts with society's current mythology regarding moms and boys:
Mothers who stay emotionally close to their sons for "too long" are seen as those smothering moms who won't let their boys grow up. Instead of pushing them out of the nest to make their way in the rough-and-tumble world, these moms hold their sons too tightly. They create effeminate "mama's boys" who will invite contempt from their peers and will be forever maladjusted.
Think about that for a bit. I personally never felt pressured to push my sons away, and I certainly haven't stopped hugging or kissing them, despite the fact that my oldest is now 14. But it has been implied that I have "too much influence" over them. And realizing that, I realize that there are definitely still people who believe that a mother's continued influence over her sons is somehow a bad thing.
The good news, Lombardi writes, is that most moms are ignoring the advice and following their instincts instead:
This is...the story of an underground movement being conducted by a generation of mothers. It's not only that women are keeping close to their sons; it's that in rejecting decades of accepted "wisdom" about how to raise boys, mothers are questioning the very nature of masculinity and redefining assumptions about gender. By nurturing close bonds with their sons, mothers are developing in boys traits like sensitivity, emotional awareness, tenderness, and the ability to articulate feelings...
Intrigued? Check out or buy a copy of book and join us! We're reading it this month, and will be discussing it online; the author will also be joining us soon for a Q & A. Got a question you want to ask? Leave it below, in the comments. Meanwhile, keep loving those boys! You matter, perhaps more than you think.
Ahmeritt, a Blogging 'Bout Boys reader was. Her son is now 18, but she distinctly remembers "a church deacon counseling my husband to not let his son be too close to his mother."
Such advice -- and the fears represented by such misguided advice -- is examined closely in Kate Stone Lombardi's book, The Mama Boy's Myth. For decades, Lombardi says, women have been counseled to back off from their sons, lest they somehow contaminate, corrupt or otherwise interfere with their sons' development. But those misguided messages, she argues, are harmful to both boys and their mothers -- and to the society at large.
She starts with society's current mythology regarding moms and boys:
Mothers who stay emotionally close to their sons for "too long" are seen as those smothering moms who won't let their boys grow up. Instead of pushing them out of the nest to make their way in the rough-and-tumble world, these moms hold their sons too tightly. They create effeminate "mama's boys" who will invite contempt from their peers and will be forever maladjusted.
Think about that for a bit. I personally never felt pressured to push my sons away, and I certainly haven't stopped hugging or kissing them, despite the fact that my oldest is now 14. But it has been implied that I have "too much influence" over them. And realizing that, I realize that there are definitely still people who believe that a mother's continued influence over her sons is somehow a bad thing.
The good news, Lombardi writes, is that most moms are ignoring the advice and following their instincts instead:
This is...the story of an underground movement being conducted by a generation of mothers. It's not only that women are keeping close to their sons; it's that in rejecting decades of accepted "wisdom" about how to raise boys, mothers are questioning the very nature of masculinity and redefining assumptions about gender. By nurturing close bonds with their sons, mothers are developing in boys traits like sensitivity, emotional awareness, tenderness, and the ability to articulate feelings...
Intrigued? Check out or buy a copy of book and join us! We're reading it this month, and will be discussing it online; the author will also be joining us soon for a Q & A. Got a question you want to ask? Leave it below, in the comments. Meanwhile, keep loving those boys! You matter, perhaps more than you think.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Virtual Book Club: Mama's Boy Myth
I ordered my book. I contacted the author. And we've got some fun things planned here at Blogging 'Bout Boys!This month, we're going to be reading The Mama's Boy Myth, a new book by Kate Stone Lombardi. This book examines the mother-son relationship, and concludes that being close to your son isn't a bad thing at all. In fact, having a close relationship with his mother may make a boy a stronger man.
Want to join in? Here's how you can be a part of Blogging 'Bout Boys first-ever book discussion:
- Get your hands on a copy of The Mama's Boy Myth. I just ordered a Kindle version. (It's $13 less than the hardcover copy!) If you don't want to buy a copy, ask your local library if they can get a copy for you. Many libraries now offer e-book loans too.
- Start reading! I'm going to start reading tonight. (Have you started already? If so, tell me about it in the comments!)
- Send me your questions, thoughts, comments and concerns. As you're reading, jot down your thoughts and questions. Do the author's words remind you of a similar story? Write it down! Send any thoughts, comments, questions, concerns or stories to me at jennifer@jenniferlwfink.com. (Of course, some thoughts are purely private. Feel free to keep two lists -- one of thoughts to share, and one just for you.)
- Check back on Tuesday, April 10. Next Tuesday, I'll run a blog post that includes a few of my thoughts based on the book -- and, hopefully, some of your thoughts and stories as well.
- Watch for an author Q & A during the week of April 16. We're still working out the details, but it looks like some sort of author Q & A will go live during the week of the 16th. Got a question for the author? Send it to me at jennifer@jenniferlwfink.com.
- Stay tuned for a wrap-up event towards the end of the month. Still working out the details on this one too, but I promise you something interesting, enlightening and informative.
- Spread the word! Got any friends who have sons? Tell them about our book club! Encourage them to join us. (Feel free to spread the word via your social networks as well!). The more, the merrier!
Questions? Email me (jennifer@jenniferlwfink.com) or leave your question below.
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