Snapshot Sunday: Joy

He Showed Us Love

R.I.P Dusty.

Compassion

Our oldest cat, Dusty, is dying.

Not in some theoretical, we're-all-going-to-die-someday kind of way, but actively dying. Dusty is currently laying on his side on the bathroom rug, laboring to breathe. Beside him is a nine-year-old boy who brought his pillow and blanket into the bathroom to keep Dusty company, a nine-year-old boy who is stroking Dusty's fur and crooning, "Silent Night."

Dusty was diagnosed with feline leukemia, the cat version of AIDS, a few months ago. At that time, an XRay also revealed what is likely a cancerous tumor in Dusty's chest.

Faced with the reality of limited healthcare dollars and an incurable disease, we decided against aggressive treatment. We brought Dusty home with a prescription for prednisone, which the vet said would ease his symptoms for awhile, and told the kids the uncomfortable truth: that their favorite cat was dying.

At first, Dusty seemed fine. Then, about a month ago, his breathing became labored to the point that I called the kids to say, "I think this is it." The kids came home, cuddled with Dusty -- and the cat lived another few weeks. He survived 'til Thanksgiving. He survived 'til his birthday (the day after Thanksgiving, aka the day we found him in our garage attic). He survived til the birthday of Boy #1. He even made it to St. Nick's. But despite the frequent prayers of Boy #3, I don't think Dusty's going to make it til Christmas.

I realize our choice -- to bring Dusty home, rather than to put him to sleep -- is a controversial one. The boys, though, were dead set against the idea of taking their cat in to be euthanized. And, to be honest, Dusty showed moments of startling improvement. After that phone call a month ago, Dusty revived enough to eat, drink and, slowly, wander the house. So we spent our time catering to the cat. We petted him. We fed him tuna. Boy #1 even took him outside; Dusty never did shed his love of the outside after all the years he spent on his own.

And secretly, I am glad, because I know that someday I will die. Like it or not, death will be part of my boys' life, and like it or not, death, more often than not, is a process. Very few people just keel over. Many more linger for weeks or months or years. My boys are learning, now, how to be there. My boys are learning that love lasts til the end. They're learning the physical process of death too, but most importantly, they're learning how to care.

Watching my nine-year-old sing to the cat, I know it's a lesson they've learned well.

Books for Boys: The Legend of Vinny Whiskers

Happy October! Today, we kick off a new feature: Books for Boys. Approximately once per week, I'll highlight a Book for Boys (or Boy Parents), a book I think your boys will love -- or one that will make your job as a boy parent a little bit easier. Each Book for Boys day will include a Q & A with the author, providing you with a behind-the-scenes look at the book. (I sound like Dr. Suess there, don't I?)

Today's book is The Legend of Vinny Whiskers, which I previously reviewed in June. Author Gregory Kemp is kicking off a two-week blog tour today, and his first stop is Blogging 'Bout Boys.

Where did you get the idea for The Legend of Vinny Whiskers?

GK: That’s a popular question people ask me, but I find it difficult to pin down. It probably came from a few different directions. I tend to give animals, like our dog, a voice. It’s not quite what you’d expect. Our dainty little Italian greyhound talks tough. She’s also interested in science and a fan of William Shatner. My wife thinks it’s pretty funny. I’ve given voices and personalities to the squirrels in the yard, animals in the zoo. So when I was entertaining the idea of writing a novel, an animal story seemed natural.

The other consideration was picking the right animal. In stories, I’ve always preferred underdog heroes over superstars. Secret agents, kid geniuses, knights—while they can be fun, they lack the depth and complexity that exists in the real world. Real people are fallible, yet real people can be heroes. A prairie dog hero offered a lot here. Turning a burrowing animal at the bottom of the food chain into a bona fide legend got me excited. Boomer Lookout, the protagonist of my novel, is not especially good at anything. And he’s got a lot of issues. To me, he’s the ultimate underdog. Plus he lives in the dirt which is funny.

Why do you think this book will appeal to boys?

GK: I don’t have to guess here. I’ve already heard from boys who identify with the main character, Boomer Lookout. Boomer is just a regular kid prairie dog trying to find his way. He doesn’t have any magic powers or special skills, yet over the course of the novel, Boomer finds ways to succeed. I’m very proud of this because I think it holds true to life. You don’t have to do spectacular things to succeed. I think if you give life an honest effort, everyone can find success.

I like the fact that you use big words, like conspicuously and ingenuity. Was that an intentional decision?

GK: Not at all. I originally wrote the book without thinking about the audience. I’ve since been told that books should always been written for a target audience, but I was just trying to write a fun book that might make you think when it’s all over. Hopefully the vocabulary is suitable for the audience. If kids find a tough word here or there, I’d just offer them this advice: don’t let it get in the way of enjoying the story. There are about 65,000 words in Vinny and if you don’t know a few that’s not bad at all! If you learn one or two, all the better.

What kinds of books did you like to read as a boy? How did your likes (and dislikes) then influence Vinny Whiskers?

GK: My favorite books growing up were Choose Your Own Adventures. You know the type, right? “You are stranded on a deserted island. Ahead on the beach you see a wooden chest. In the distance you hear the beating of drums. If you want to investigate the chest, turn to page 10, if you want find the source of the drums, turn to page….” These were fun for me. The plot took all sorts of sudden turns.

I also grew up reading Piers Anthony, the fantasy writer. The Xanth series was a favorite. His creativity is off the chart and I want my writing to be original and fresh.

What advice would you have for young boys who are interested in writing and storytelling?

GK: The boiler plate answer for this would be read, read, read. Okay, I can’t argue with that in principle because you can learn a lot by reading other people’s work. But I would qualify the advice by saying, “Read and think.”

Getting lost in a good book won’t help your writing. You need to stop and ask yourself what is good about the book? What makes you want to turn the page? A good story will have a clear answer for this.

At the same time, you’ve got to practice your writing. Start with a one page story, something like, young Jimmy wants to know what’s inside all the delivery boxes at his neighbor’s house. Put an obstacle in Jimmy’s way like the neighbors are out of town and he can’t ask them or they have a really big dog that Jimmy fears.

Lastly, deliver on the story. Jimmy sneaks over and peeks in a window. What does he find? Why all the boxes? Perhaps there are copies of The Legend of Vinny Whiskers in the boxes and Jimmy’s neighbor is my biggest fan. That’s a very good story if you ask me! When you think you’ve got the story right, go back and make it better. I wrote at least five major drafts of The Legend of Vinny Whiskers. I don’t claim it’s perfect, but it’s a lot better than where I started. And by golly, pay attention in English class!

Dog Safety

Did you know that young boys are at the greatest risk of dog bites?

I didn't either -- and I probably should, since my parents got a dog this year and I have two boys that fall smack-dab in the five- to nine-years-old age group, the group most at-risk.

Young kids are vulnerable simply because of their proximity to animals; most children are at mouth-height to dogs. And young boys, in particular, tend to be loud, impulsive and physical. (I bet you already knew that.)

Keep your boys safe by teaching some basic dog etiquette:

1. Always ask a dog's owner if it's OK to approach or pet the dog
2. Slowly hold out your hand when meeting a dog
3. Never try to reach into a crate, yard, or fenced-in area to pet a dog
4. If the dog starts growling, showing teeth or holding back his ears, stay back
5. Never tease a dog
6. Remain quiet and still -- like a tree -- if a dog chases or jumps at you
7. Stay away from sleeping or eating dogs

For more great info, click here and here.

Have you boys ever gotten into trouble with a dog?