Having a boy (or 2 or 3 or....) definitely changes you. Case in point: I found myself wrestling with my five-year-old niece today. After years of parenting boys, "wrestle" somehow equals "play" in my brain.
Maybe that's why I found Outnumbered Mom's post, The Paradox of Parenting Boys, so intriguing. Head on over. Take a look. Tell me what you think.
Showing posts with label wrestling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wrestling. Show all posts
Monday, February 22, 2010
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Setting Boundaries
Joyce Grant, of Getting Kids Reading, had a great post yesterday about why boys don't like school. She recently attended a Leonard Sax seminar and wrote a great summary of the biologically-based learning differences between boys and girls.
She also wrote about boundaries. I love point # 7:
Boys understand boundaries. Instead of saying, "no throwing snowballs," make some boundaries. "Snowball throwing within this area only." Boys get "inbounds vs. out-of-bounds." And they're good with it.
We can't outlaw boy behavior. We can't outlaw running and screaming and jumping. We can't ban all violent play, and we can't stop them from wrestling. If we do that, we send boys the message that their internal impulses are somehow wrong, and that's just, well, wrong.
We can, however, set some boundaries. We can help them redirect their energies. We can suggest, for instance, that they leap off the playground instead of off the couch. We can give them play guns (or not) while letting them know that it's not OK to point a weapon at someone in anger. We can provide safe spaces and sane boundaries (such as no hitting the head or groin)when they start to wrestle.
Providing boundaries recognizes and respects boys' innate needs, while teaching them basic social behavior. Providing boundaries allows boys to experiment with their power and strength in a safe way. Providing boundaries helps boys grow into confident men.
The next time your boys are driving you crazy, don't simply outlaw the behavior. Work with your boys to develop some boundaries instead.
She also wrote about boundaries. I love point # 7:
Boys understand boundaries. Instead of saying, "no throwing snowballs," make some boundaries. "Snowball throwing within this area only." Boys get "inbounds vs. out-of-bounds." And they're good with it.
We can't outlaw boy behavior. We can't outlaw running and screaming and jumping. We can't ban all violent play, and we can't stop them from wrestling. If we do that, we send boys the message that their internal impulses are somehow wrong, and that's just, well, wrong.
We can, however, set some boundaries. We can help them redirect their energies. We can suggest, for instance, that they leap off the playground instead of off the couch. We can give them play guns (or not) while letting them know that it's not OK to point a weapon at someone in anger. We can provide safe spaces and sane boundaries (such as no hitting the head or groin)when they start to wrestle.
Providing boundaries recognizes and respects boys' innate needs, while teaching them basic social behavior. Providing boundaries allows boys to experiment with their power and strength in a safe way. Providing boundaries helps boys grow into confident men.
The next time your boys are driving you crazy, don't simply outlaw the behavior. Work with your boys to develop some boundaries instead.
Monday, February 2, 2009
You Know You Have Boys When....
- You have 2 laundry piles -- dark, and underwear
- You spend hours watching tractors and machines on YouTube
- Wrestling is a typical after-dinner activity
- Your home resembles an ammo depot -- in small scale plastic, of course
- Your couch cushions are off more than on
- You can mark the 4 seaons by the debris on your kitchen floor: mud (Spring), sand (Summer), leaves (Autumn) and slush (Winter)
Care to add to my list??
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