Books for Boys: Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling

Sandra Dodd's son, Marty, is right: her Big Book of Unschooling makes an excellent bathroom book. Broken down into small, manageable bits, Sanda Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling is inspiration waiting for action. It's accessible, welcoming -- and the perfect anti-dote for parental self-doubt. Her common sense words help you let go and trust and enable you to enhance your sons' lives in ways you may never have imagined.

Here, a conversation with Sandra Dodd.

Define "unschooling."

Unschooling is arranging for natural learning to take place.

Why did you write Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling?

I had been planning a book, but it wasn't time. Then two requests came in the same season of late 2008. An unschooling mom in India, Hema Bharadwaj, asked me a if I could put my website into book form. I said it wasn't possible. In San Diego, Flo Gascon was organizing the Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference and asked whether she could offer my first book as a pre-order, for her attendees. I figured most of her attendees already had my book, Moving a Puddle. So I offered to do a new book.

Moving a Puddle came out in 2006, and is a collection of most of my published articles from the dozen years before that, from the time my oldest was nine and I was writing for a regional parenting newsletter in New Mexico. Although I was involved in discussions of unschooling throughout the years, and spoke at many conferences, I didn't feel it right to write a strong "how to" unschooling book before I knew for certain that my children wouldn't decide to go to school, and I wanted to wait to see how they were as adults, to make sure I knew what I was talking about. In the time they were growing up, I knew more and more people who had also unschooled into their teens and young adulthood, so while I was working toward the time I would feel we had "successfully completed" unschooling our children, I saw and knew many other families in those later stages of unschooling as well. The more I saw, the more persuaded I was that the longterm effects of unschooling are beyond anything any of us expected or predicted.

Is the book only for homeschoolers -- or will other parents find it useful as well?

There are ideas any parents could use to help their families feel closer, I suppose, but it will be most helpful to unschooling families.

You have 3 children, including 2 completely unschooled boys. How/why do you think unschooling is beneficial for boys?

Many men work around their childhood shame and trauma, or take years untangling and overcoming it. Some men live with it every day, thinking it's just a natural part of everyone's life. Some are timid; some are bullies If their parents could have planned ahead to avoid shame and trauma, how much calmer and creative and courageous might their sons have been? There are inevitable sorrows enough without parents creating them. There are obstacles enough in life without parents setting them purposely or carelessly. Young men who will thank their mothers and hug their dads and who want to come home when they have the option do not come from harsh, traditional, punitive parenting. If their mothers have been their allies and supporters rather than their owners and bosses, life is different. If their fathers have been their counsellors and partners rather than their trainers and overseers, those boys can grow up whole, in peace and confidence.

What one message would you like parents of boys to take home from your book?

Your baby boys aren't future people. They are now who they will be at thirty and forty. You can't change them fundamentally, but you can help them grow nurtured and undamaged.

Sandra Dodd once taught in the public schools in her home town of Española, New Mexico. Thirty years ago she took up with Keith Dodd, from Alamogordo, they frolicked in history and music and costumes and friends, settled in Albuquerque, and spawned three singing, dress-up kids who grew into three creative adults frolicking in the whole wide world. Documentation can be found here: http://www.sandradodd.com/ and http://sandradodd.blogspot.com/

The book can be purchased from Sandra's website for $25 plus postage. Books are mailed within two days (sometimes within a few hours), by priority mail. Eventually it will be available from Amazon.com, but for now quick and direct is your only option. In the first two weeks, books have been shipped all over the U.S. and Canada, to Scotland, England, Wales, Denmark, The Netherlands, Switzerland, South Africa, New Zealand, Australia and India.

Boy Power

I was going to write about the boy who shot an alligator. Then I found this newsclip online: "Never having heard the term 'green energy,' an African boy unknowingly brought ancient, and at the same time, leading edge technology to his family's small subsistence farm."

I was intrigued.

Now, having learned the story of William Kamkwamba, I am impressed.

Kamkwamba was a fourteen-year-old boy in Malawi when his family ran out of money to send him to school -- because their maize crop failed. So Kamkwamba, unwilling to end his education, visited the public library in his spare time, checking out books and reading them by lamplight after his chores were done.

He stumbled upon the idea of windmills, and learned they could be used to generate electricity and pump water. A windmill, he thought, might help the farm. So this "uneducated" fourteen-year-old boy set out to build a windmill, with no money, no mentors and no materials.

He scavenged the local junkyard and eventually built his windmill. He experimented, added on and soon had the first source of potable water in his village.

Kamkwamba, now 19, was recently invited to speak at the Technology, Education and Design (TED) conference in England -- for the second time. His message? "Trust in yourself and believe. Never give up."

I'll tweak that message: Parents of boys, trust in your sons and believe. William Kamkwamba's mother thought he was "crazy," but she didn't stop her son. Ultimately, she gave him enough freedom, space and support so that he could construct his windmill. And look what he's done!

Snapshot Sunday: Many Moons Ago

This Boy #1 -- before he hit his growth spurt, before his baby teeth fell out and before Boy #4 was born and this room was converted into Boy #1's bedroom. This is also what happens when you lose your camera. My camera has been missing for about three weeks, so I'm digging deep into the files to find something for Snapshot Sunday!

writing vs. Writing

Do your boys like to write? Most boys don't. Boys' fine motor skills tend to develop later than girls', and so for most boys, the physical act of holding a pencil or pen and creating words is frustrating and painful.

But what if I told you that's not writing?

Oh sure, it's writing in one sense. Call it writing with a small w: writing, tracing letters onto the page. The kind of writing I'm talking about is writing with a capital W: Writing, using written language to communicate.

There's a big difference between the two, and I'm convinced that focusing on writing inhibits Writing -- especially for boys.

That's not to say penmanship is not important. (Although I could argue that it's not. How much of your writing is done by hand these days?) As a writer, though, I believe that if you want you boys to write, you need to shift your focus from the mechanics to the content.

Give your boys room, freedom and permission to play around with language. Let them talk -- a lot. Read them stories. Transcribe their stories. Let them experience the natural flow of language before inundating them with things like grammar, structure and punctuation.

Ask any writer how to become a better writer, and you'll inevitably hear one word: "Read." Writing practice is important, but so is immersing yourself in a world of fine language. By reading -- or listening to -- the writing of others, one intuitively absorbs information about flow, pacing and structure. One learns what details make a story come alive and how to maintain interest. One learns that words have power.

So if you want your boys to Write, put away the pens and pencils for awhile. If your boys are like mine, their verbal storytelling abilities are far above their writing ability, and that's OK. Encourage them to tell their stories. Listen as they summarize their favorite TV shows and explain how to play Yu Gi Oh. Jot down their stories and let your boys see the written transcript. Without writing a word, they will be Writing.

It may be years before your sons' physical abilities catches up to their ability to Write. That's OK. So many parents and teachers insist that writing and Writing go hand-in-hand, but too many boys become frustrated and quit. Too many boys think that Writing is a girl thing. Too many boys stop after learning that teachers value friendship-oriented stories over action-packed adventures. Too many boys conclude that they can't Write, and their voices are lost to the world.

Don't worry about writing. Help your son Write instead.

I've Been Nominated for an Award!

Kim, of Kim's Play Place, recently nominated me for my first-ever homeschool blog award.

The awards are given by Alasandra's Homeschool Blog, an intriguing site if ever I saw one. Recently, she's been running a series of posts covering the controversy the erupted when school kids sang a song about President Barack Obama.

She's also accepting nominations for Best Homeschool Blog thru November 27th. Hurry over and nominate your favorite homeschool blog!

Books for Boys: The Legend of Vinny Whiskers

Happy October! Today, we kick off a new feature: Books for Boys. Approximately once per week, I'll highlight a Book for Boys (or Boy Parents), a book I think your boys will love -- or one that will make your job as a boy parent a little bit easier. Each Book for Boys day will include a Q & A with the author, providing you with a behind-the-scenes look at the book. (I sound like Dr. Suess there, don't I?)

Today's book is The Legend of Vinny Whiskers, which I previously reviewed in June. Author Gregory Kemp is kicking off a two-week blog tour today, and his first stop is Blogging 'Bout Boys.

Where did you get the idea for The Legend of Vinny Whiskers?

GK: That’s a popular question people ask me, but I find it difficult to pin down. It probably came from a few different directions. I tend to give animals, like our dog, a voice. It’s not quite what you’d expect. Our dainty little Italian greyhound talks tough. She’s also interested in science and a fan of William Shatner. My wife thinks it’s pretty funny. I’ve given voices and personalities to the squirrels in the yard, animals in the zoo. So when I was entertaining the idea of writing a novel, an animal story seemed natural.

The other consideration was picking the right animal. In stories, I’ve always preferred underdog heroes over superstars. Secret agents, kid geniuses, knights—while they can be fun, they lack the depth and complexity that exists in the real world. Real people are fallible, yet real people can be heroes. A prairie dog hero offered a lot here. Turning a burrowing animal at the bottom of the food chain into a bona fide legend got me excited. Boomer Lookout, the protagonist of my novel, is not especially good at anything. And he’s got a lot of issues. To me, he’s the ultimate underdog. Plus he lives in the dirt which is funny.

Why do you think this book will appeal to boys?

GK: I don’t have to guess here. I’ve already heard from boys who identify with the main character, Boomer Lookout. Boomer is just a regular kid prairie dog trying to find his way. He doesn’t have any magic powers or special skills, yet over the course of the novel, Boomer finds ways to succeed. I’m very proud of this because I think it holds true to life. You don’t have to do spectacular things to succeed. I think if you give life an honest effort, everyone can find success.

I like the fact that you use big words, like conspicuously and ingenuity. Was that an intentional decision?

GK: Not at all. I originally wrote the book without thinking about the audience. I’ve since been told that books should always been written for a target audience, but I was just trying to write a fun book that might make you think when it’s all over. Hopefully the vocabulary is suitable for the audience. If kids find a tough word here or there, I’d just offer them this advice: don’t let it get in the way of enjoying the story. There are about 65,000 words in Vinny and if you don’t know a few that’s not bad at all! If you learn one or two, all the better.

What kinds of books did you like to read as a boy? How did your likes (and dislikes) then influence Vinny Whiskers?

GK: My favorite books growing up were Choose Your Own Adventures. You know the type, right? “You are stranded on a deserted island. Ahead on the beach you see a wooden chest. In the distance you hear the beating of drums. If you want to investigate the chest, turn to page 10, if you want find the source of the drums, turn to page….” These were fun for me. The plot took all sorts of sudden turns.

I also grew up reading Piers Anthony, the fantasy writer. The Xanth series was a favorite. His creativity is off the chart and I want my writing to be original and fresh.

What advice would you have for young boys who are interested in writing and storytelling?

GK: The boiler plate answer for this would be read, read, read. Okay, I can’t argue with that in principle because you can learn a lot by reading other people’s work. But I would qualify the advice by saying, “Read and think.”

Getting lost in a good book won’t help your writing. You need to stop and ask yourself what is good about the book? What makes you want to turn the page? A good story will have a clear answer for this.

At the same time, you’ve got to practice your writing. Start with a one page story, something like, young Jimmy wants to know what’s inside all the delivery boxes at his neighbor’s house. Put an obstacle in Jimmy’s way like the neighbors are out of town and he can’t ask them or they have a really big dog that Jimmy fears.

Lastly, deliver on the story. Jimmy sneaks over and peeks in a window. What does he find? Why all the boxes? Perhaps there are copies of The Legend of Vinny Whiskers in the boxes and Jimmy’s neighbor is my biggest fan. That’s a very good story if you ask me! When you think you’ve got the story right, go back and make it better. I wrote at least five major drafts of The Legend of Vinny Whiskers. I don’t claim it’s perfect, but it’s a lot better than where I started. And by golly, pay attention in English class!

And the Winner Is....Part II

Gigi is one lucky girl. She's the winner of the Blogging 'Bout Boys LeapFrog Tag Reading System giveaway -- AND the winner of the Tag giveaway at 3 Carnations!

But Gigi is more than just lucky; she's generous. Listen:

"Thank you so much! I was lucky enough to win one from 3 Carnations, one of the other blogs participating in the contest. I don't feel right taking a second one, so please choose another winner. "

So I popped the numbers back into random.org and the new winner is... dddiva! Congratulations, dddiva. Drop me a line ASAP with your shipping information and I'll get that Tag system right out.

Again, thanks to all who entered, and a special thanks to GiGi for sharing.