It's been awhile, hasn't it?
First, life got busy, then blogging got hard. You know how it's hard to go back to the gym when you've been away awhile? Seems blogging is like that too!
But tonight, my Mom and Dad returned from their winter home in Arizona. They're back home -- and I'm back, blogging 'bout boys.
Mom and Dad brought back a ton of presents and as the parents of four boys (and two girls), they know boys well. The boys' gifts included three bags of huge marshmallows (if you don't think this is cool, check the link), some wrapping paper tubes (which the boys promptly began using as swords), a Bob the Builder video and a set of four paint-your-own, wind-up monster trucks. To say the house was noisy after supper is an understatement!
The boys' Uncle T -- aka The Broker -- was here too. Uncle T, an accountant by day, has introduced my boys to the world of finance. Boy #3 was thrilled, because months after discovering that his first Christmas ornament was actually an ounce of silver, Uncle T was finally going to buy it from him! #3 has been tracking silver prices for months, just waiting for an opportunity to sell. So when Uncle T ran out to the car to get a $20, tucked the money into my son's hand and told him to "keep the change," Boy #3 simply grasped the money and smiled. He knew the going price for silver was only about $18. He knew he'd just gotten a deal. Until he realized that the bill in his hand was a single, not a twenty! Uncle T strikes again -- and the boys learn one more lesson.
What's up with you? I'd love to hear what's been going on in your lives!
Showing posts with label uncles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label uncles. Show all posts
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Soothing the Stress
So how do you help your stressed out son?
#1: Recognize that he needs help
The research shows that boys are likely to ignore stress. They may deny their stressful feelings or refuse to think about the issue causing them stress. And while both strategies may work in the short-term, neither is a long-term solution. So your first step as a parent may be to help your son realize that feeling stressed out is a signal, a signal that something needs to change.
#2: Identify and minimize triggers.
If you can, figure out what's bothering your son. If he's young, say under the age of three, it'll be up to you to identify the causes of his meltdowns. Is he hungry? Tired? Overstimulated? Try to figure out what's going on, and then take steps to remedy the situation. Also, see what you can do differently next time. If your son has a temper tantrum every time you stop by the grocery store on the way home from daycare, it may be that the grocery store, with its lights and sounds and people, is just too much for him after a day of childcare. Next time, try picking up milk before you pick up your son.
If your son is older, see if he can identify what's causing him stress. Don't be suprised if his first answer is an exasperated, "I don't know." Remember: boys avoid thinking about their stress. Talking through some possible causes ("Your new teacher seems pretty strict") might help him open up.
#3: Get him moving
When a person is stressed, his body enters a stage of fight-or-flight. Adrenaline pumps through his body -- whether or not he needs to flee from a Siberian tiger.
Take advantage of that chemical influx by encouraging your son to go for a run, punch a pillow or do jumping jacks. He may return with a new perspective.
#4: Speak up
Boys' hearing is less acute than girls' anyway. Add in stress, and they're likely to tune you out all together. Don't yell; just speak in a loud, clear voice.
#5: Teach problem solving
After your son has calmed down, talk through the situation. What happened? What would he like to happen? What steps can he take to make that outcome more likely?
Role-modeling is great here. Let your son see you constructively handling stress in your everyday life. Better yet -- let him see his father, uncles, and male neighbors handling stress productively.
What other ideas do you have for helping boys deal with stress?
#1: Recognize that he needs help
The research shows that boys are likely to ignore stress. They may deny their stressful feelings or refuse to think about the issue causing them stress. And while both strategies may work in the short-term, neither is a long-term solution. So your first step as a parent may be to help your son realize that feeling stressed out is a signal, a signal that something needs to change.
#2: Identify and minimize triggers.
If you can, figure out what's bothering your son. If he's young, say under the age of three, it'll be up to you to identify the causes of his meltdowns. Is he hungry? Tired? Overstimulated? Try to figure out what's going on, and then take steps to remedy the situation. Also, see what you can do differently next time. If your son has a temper tantrum every time you stop by the grocery store on the way home from daycare, it may be that the grocery store, with its lights and sounds and people, is just too much for him after a day of childcare. Next time, try picking up milk before you pick up your son.
If your son is older, see if he can identify what's causing him stress. Don't be suprised if his first answer is an exasperated, "I don't know." Remember: boys avoid thinking about their stress. Talking through some possible causes ("Your new teacher seems pretty strict") might help him open up.
#3: Get him moving
When a person is stressed, his body enters a stage of fight-or-flight. Adrenaline pumps through his body -- whether or not he needs to flee from a Siberian tiger.
Take advantage of that chemical influx by encouraging your son to go for a run, punch a pillow or do jumping jacks. He may return with a new perspective.
#4: Speak up
Boys' hearing is less acute than girls' anyway. Add in stress, and they're likely to tune you out all together. Don't yell; just speak in a loud, clear voice.
#5: Teach problem solving
After your son has calmed down, talk through the situation. What happened? What would he like to happen? What steps can he take to make that outcome more likely?
Role-modeling is great here. Let your son see you constructively handling stress in your everyday life. Better yet -- let him see his father, uncles, and male neighbors handling stress productively.
What other ideas do you have for helping boys deal with stress?
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Snapshot Sunday: A Boy and His Dino
A long, long time ago, before Boy #2 became a nine-year-old boy obsessed with video games and destruction, he was a boy who loved dinosaurs. In recognition of that love, one of his amazingly fabulous uncles (who also happens to be his godfather) gave Boy #2 a six-foot-inflatable dinosaur for his birthday. To date, he has yet to receive a present he's loved as much as that dino.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
The 4th of July
At this point, the fireworks are iffy.
It rained heavily a couple hours ago, so we're all waiting to see if the pyrotechnics will be shot off as usual. I hope so! There's something magical about snuggling on a blanket with a little boy, long after his bedtime, watching fireworks light up the sky.
The boys did, however, get candy -- and lots of it. A small town near here (and by "small town," I mean small. They've just revised their population sigh to read, "Not many.") that hosts an annual 4th of July parade. It's nothing fancy -- firetrucks, tractors, teenage beauty queens, a couple floats and a band -- but none of that matters to the boys. To the boys, the July 4th parade is all about candy.
By 8 am, they had their candy bags picked out: a paper grocery bag for Boy #4, double-bagged plastic grocery bags for Boy #3 ("in case one gets a hole") and a heavy-duty plastic library bag for Boy #2. Not that I blame them. The July 4th parade was always my favorite too.
Now, the candy has been sorted into little piles. Boy #3 has his candy in multiple plastic containers while Boy #2's bag is heavily guarded and ready to take up to the fireworks tonight. (This child was planning the snack menu by 9 am this morning.)
They boys are currently resting up and keeping their fingers crossed. (Thanks, uncles, for keeping the boys entertained at our afternoon cookout.) With any luck, the fireworks will proceed as scheduled and we'll oooh and aaaah surrounded by family -- and candy.
Enjoy your 4th!
It rained heavily a couple hours ago, so we're all waiting to see if the pyrotechnics will be shot off as usual. I hope so! There's something magical about snuggling on a blanket with a little boy, long after his bedtime, watching fireworks light up the sky.
The boys did, however, get candy -- and lots of it. A small town near here (and by "small town," I mean small. They've just revised their population sigh to read, "Not many.") that hosts an annual 4th of July parade. It's nothing fancy -- firetrucks, tractors, teenage beauty queens, a couple floats and a band -- but none of that matters to the boys. To the boys, the July 4th parade is all about candy.
By 8 am, they had their candy bags picked out: a paper grocery bag for Boy #4, double-bagged plastic grocery bags for Boy #3 ("in case one gets a hole") and a heavy-duty plastic library bag for Boy #2. Not that I blame them. The July 4th parade was always my favorite too.
Now, the candy has been sorted into little piles. Boy #3 has his candy in multiple plastic containers while Boy #2's bag is heavily guarded and ready to take up to the fireworks tonight. (This child was planning the snack menu by 9 am this morning.)
They boys are currently resting up and keeping their fingers crossed. (Thanks, uncles, for keeping the boys entertained at our afternoon cookout.) With any luck, the fireworks will proceed as scheduled and we'll oooh and aaaah surrounded by family -- and candy.
Enjoy your 4th!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Natural Learning
Today started with no real plan.
Boy #3 had speech this morning and gymnastics and baseball scheduled later this afternoon. (I know -- I think that sounds like a lot of one kid too. But it's the last day of speech and the last day of gymnastics, and the only day of the week when it all falls on the same day.)
It was almost 9:30 am before I realized that Boy #1 was downtown at the Green Market. He has a tendency to sleep late, so when he wasn't up yet, I just assumed he was sleeping. But then when he wasn't downstairs either, it clicked: Wednesday morning. June. He's selling at the Green Market.
Boy #1, my natural born entrepreneur, has been selling things at the Green Market ever since he was six. He pays for a spot, carts his produce down there in a wagon and spends his Wednesday mornings learning from the vendors and customers at the Market. Today, he was selling maple syrup and radishes.
So when Boy #3 got home from speech, the rest of us strapped on our helmets and headed downtown.
What started as a simple excursion spiraled into a morning of learning. We visited with friends, caught up on the small town gossip and checked out the plants and produce. We wandered into the health food store and found a new, yummy, organic treat.
We walked into the local appliance store to check out the taxidermied animals on the wall. (Trust me: They know us there. As far as my kids are concerned, that little store is as good as a natural history museum.) We filled out tickets for a raffle drawing (a great chance to practice penmanship, letters, numbers and spelling) and ended up borrowing two movies from the church that runs a lending library (Sunday School Musical and Sugar Creek Gang: The Great Canoe Fish). Then we stopped at the yarn shop, admired the yarns and talked to the owner before heading home.
At home, one boy started popping popcorn (for the movie) while another checked the price of silver on our just-recently-returned-home computer. Next thing I know, he ran into the kitchen, yelling, "Call Uncle Tom!"
Uncle Tom, an accountant, introduced my sons to investing by giving them each a one-ounce silver coin. He then showed them how to track the price on the computer.
My boys have been paying attention. Boy #1, the entrepreneur, has managed to amass a number of silver coins. All of them have been watching the price of silver for months, because Uncle Tom agreed to act as their private broker. At any time, he said, they could sell their silver back to him for market price.
So I called Uncle Tom and placed the Sell order. Then we settled in with our popcorn to watch The Great Canoe Fish.
After the movie, Boy #1 headed to the hardware store to buy some seeds. I read Diary of a Wimpy Kid to Boys #2 and 3 while #4 played with trucks. Now #1 and #4 are planting beans and carrots in the garden while #2 and #3 play outside.
Not bad for a day of learning -- and we still have gymnastics and baseball to go.
Boy #3 had speech this morning and gymnastics and baseball scheduled later this afternoon. (I know -- I think that sounds like a lot of one kid too. But it's the last day of speech and the last day of gymnastics, and the only day of the week when it all falls on the same day.)
It was almost 9:30 am before I realized that Boy #1 was downtown at the Green Market. He has a tendency to sleep late, so when he wasn't up yet, I just assumed he was sleeping. But then when he wasn't downstairs either, it clicked: Wednesday morning. June. He's selling at the Green Market.
Boy #1, my natural born entrepreneur, has been selling things at the Green Market ever since he was six. He pays for a spot, carts his produce down there in a wagon and spends his Wednesday mornings learning from the vendors and customers at the Market. Today, he was selling maple syrup and radishes.
So when Boy #3 got home from speech, the rest of us strapped on our helmets and headed downtown.
What started as a simple excursion spiraled into a morning of learning. We visited with friends, caught up on the small town gossip and checked out the plants and produce. We wandered into the health food store and found a new, yummy, organic treat.
We walked into the local appliance store to check out the taxidermied animals on the wall. (Trust me: They know us there. As far as my kids are concerned, that little store is as good as a natural history museum.) We filled out tickets for a raffle drawing (a great chance to practice penmanship, letters, numbers and spelling) and ended up borrowing two movies from the church that runs a lending library (Sunday School Musical and Sugar Creek Gang: The Great Canoe Fish). Then we stopped at the yarn shop, admired the yarns and talked to the owner before heading home.
At home, one boy started popping popcorn (for the movie) while another checked the price of silver on our just-recently-returned-home computer. Next thing I know, he ran into the kitchen, yelling, "Call Uncle Tom!"
Uncle Tom, an accountant, introduced my sons to investing by giving them each a one-ounce silver coin. He then showed them how to track the price on the computer.
My boys have been paying attention. Boy #1, the entrepreneur, has managed to amass a number of silver coins. All of them have been watching the price of silver for months, because Uncle Tom agreed to act as their private broker. At any time, he said, they could sell their silver back to him for market price.
So I called Uncle Tom and placed the Sell order. Then we settled in with our popcorn to watch The Great Canoe Fish.
After the movie, Boy #1 headed to the hardware store to buy some seeds. I read Diary of a Wimpy Kid to Boys #2 and 3 while #4 played with trucks. Now #1 and #4 are planting beans and carrots in the garden while #2 and #3 play outside.
Not bad for a day of learning -- and we still have gymnastics and baseball to go.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Brothers and Boys
Does having brothers prepare you for having boys?
Most of our readers (44%) said yes. Of course, 22% said no and another 22% said they don't have brothers, so it's not exactly an overwhelming conclusion.
I grew up with 4 brothers (and 1 sister). So on the one hand, boys come naturally to me. I grew up surrounded by boys, belching and the occasional brouhaha. If I'd grown up with an army of sisters, perhaps this boy-saturated household of mine would feel completely foreign.
And yet...I was one of those who answered, "I'm not sure." The one way I'm absolutely, positively certain having brothers prepared me for having sons is that my Mom has long recognized boys' need for movement. I can't tell you how many times I heard her tell my brothers, "Just go outside and run around the house!" And you know what? I use that one too.
Beyond that, though, I'm not sure. We grew up in a pretty restrictive household, so my brothers weren't into a lot of typically boy stuff. No guns or gun play allowed. No tree climbing. And extremely limited access to the creek just behind our house.
In many ways, I think my brothers are more beneficial to me NOW. Now that I have 4 boys, my brothers are an invaluable resource. My 4 brothers, all very different people, provide my sons glimpses into various forms of manhood. My 4 brothers, each with different talents and skills and interests, can relate to and teach my boys in a way I never could. And my 4 brothers inevitably end up on the floor wrestling my boys.
I long ago recognized the value in play fighting. For my boys, it's a chance to test their strength against an adult male they know and love. For my brothers, it's a valuable way to connect with their nephews (and a chance for them to reassure themselves that they are still top of the pack!). For me, it's a welcome break. :)
My brothers are also an essential part of my sons' "third family," a term coined by Micheal Gurian that refers to boys' need to be surrounded by a community of caring adults. As important as Mom and Dad are, boys need more than that. As Gurian writes in The Purpose of Boys, "Boys are such exploeres and so filled with energy and imagination...that they need both close-up contact with their nuclear family parents and wide-lens intimacy and experiences guided by a set of other 'family members' who provide significant help."
Does having brothers help me raise sons? You betcha.
What's your experience? How has having brothers (or not) prepared you (or not) for raising boys?
Most of our readers (44%) said yes. Of course, 22% said no and another 22% said they don't have brothers, so it's not exactly an overwhelming conclusion.
I grew up with 4 brothers (and 1 sister). So on the one hand, boys come naturally to me. I grew up surrounded by boys, belching and the occasional brouhaha. If I'd grown up with an army of sisters, perhaps this boy-saturated household of mine would feel completely foreign.
And yet...I was one of those who answered, "I'm not sure." The one way I'm absolutely, positively certain having brothers prepared me for having sons is that my Mom has long recognized boys' need for movement. I can't tell you how many times I heard her tell my brothers, "Just go outside and run around the house!" And you know what? I use that one too.
Beyond that, though, I'm not sure. We grew up in a pretty restrictive household, so my brothers weren't into a lot of typically boy stuff. No guns or gun play allowed. No tree climbing. And extremely limited access to the creek just behind our house.
In many ways, I think my brothers are more beneficial to me NOW. Now that I have 4 boys, my brothers are an invaluable resource. My 4 brothers, all very different people, provide my sons glimpses into various forms of manhood. My 4 brothers, each with different talents and skills and interests, can relate to and teach my boys in a way I never could. And my 4 brothers inevitably end up on the floor wrestling my boys.
I long ago recognized the value in play fighting. For my boys, it's a chance to test their strength against an adult male they know and love. For my brothers, it's a valuable way to connect with their nephews (and a chance for them to reassure themselves that they are still top of the pack!). For me, it's a welcome break. :)
My brothers are also an essential part of my sons' "third family," a term coined by Micheal Gurian that refers to boys' need to be surrounded by a community of caring adults. As important as Mom and Dad are, boys need more than that. As Gurian writes in The Purpose of Boys, "Boys are such exploeres and so filled with energy and imagination...that they need both close-up contact with their nuclear family parents and wide-lens intimacy and experiences guided by a set of other 'family members' who provide significant help."
Does having brothers help me raise sons? You betcha.
What's your experience? How has having brothers (or not) prepared you (or not) for raising boys?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Uncles
My sons are blessed with an abundance of uncles -- 4 on my side of the family, plus another 2 on hubby's side.Years ago, boys were raised in the company of men. As author Michael Gurian writes in The Minds of Boys, "it is worth remembering that throughout human history, our male ancestors had two or more men at their disposal during their upbringing, especially at and after puberty -- the father and the master-tutor were the minimum. These men formed an inner circle of male care around the boy. There were also five to ten other significant males available throughout the boy's adoloscence, forming an outer circle of male care."
My boys' "outer circle" has taught them:
- Investing and the stock market
- Star Wars
- Poker
They've also taught them, through example, to follow your dreams and do what you love.
Of course, they also taught my sons to say, "I do what I want!" and once convinced my oldest son he could fly.
The O Pine sounds an awful lot like my brothers. Check out what he has to say about uncle-ing here.
Then tell me: How have your boys benefited from having uncles?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)